


And Know That You Are Loved

by legendofthesevenstars



Category: Tenkuu no Escaflowne | The Vision of Escaflowne
Genre: Adventure, Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Friendship, Gift Giving, Illness, Injury, Mid-Canon, Near Death Experiences, Other, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 19:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19774759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendofthesevenstars/pseuds/legendofthesevenstars
Summary: After narrowly escaping Zaibach with their lives, Van, Hitomi, and Allen embark on an unforgettable journey of ups and downs.Or, Van realizes how wonderful and uplifting it feels to have friends.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [labeckinator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/labeckinator/gifts).



> This is my half of an exchange with labeckinator; I write and she illustrates a scene she likes. We both love the dynamic of these three. I wanted to write a fic about their friendship, and she wanted to make some art. She decided she would wait and illustrate my fic.
> 
> This fic takes place between episodes 18 and 19. At the beginning of episode 19, Hitomi says that "three weeks passed since we escaped Zaibach." I wondered what kind of adventures this trio might have gotten up to in those three weeks, and was totally compelled to write about that! I hope you enjoy it, and I am SO looking forward to your illustration! ^_^
> 
> Her art can be found at Tumblr and dA (labeckinator). Go check it out and keep your eyes peeled for awesome illustrations from her!

Van could finally relax, now that he, Hitomi, and Allen were safe. They’d just barely escaped the Zaibach Guymelefs pursuing them, Van’s heart pounding in time with Escaflowne’s Energist, Escaflowne speeding past the Zaibach floating fortress. But they still had to find the _Crusade_ or otherwise return to Palas on their own. They had a long journey ahead of them, and it was off to a great start already—he had no idea what direction to go.

Hitomi was the first to bring it up. “Do you know where you’re going?”

He glanced over his shoulder. “No. I was just trying to get us out of there.”

“I’ll try using my pendant.” She held it up and closed her eyes. Van continued in the opposite direction of Zaibach, hopefully toward Asturia.

Van looked at Allen. “How far away from Palas do you think we are?”

“Probably a fair distance. Zaibach is pretty remote.”

That would explain why Zaibach forces always used the floating fortresses to get from place to place. It might take the three of them weeks or months to get back, even with Escaflowne.

Hitomi broke her concentration to ask, “Can’t you fly Escaflowne really fast like you just did?”

“That was an emergency. I can only go at normal speed now.”

“It’s best to take your time anyway,” Allen said.

“I will. I’ll keep flying for as long as I can tonight.” The others must be worried sick about them. And what if they got attacked? Gaddes and the rest of Allen’s crew could fight, sure, but nobody currently on board the _Crusade_ piloted a Guymelef.

“That’s not what I meant.” There was a slight edge to Allen’s voice. “We just barely left them behind. Zaibach will be searching for us. You’ll have to drop down at some point.”

Van grumbled under his breath. “At least let me fly until I get tired.”

“You don’t even know what direction you’re going,” Hitomi said.

“Then tell me what direction I’m supposed to go.”

“You’re going too far south. You need to go a little more west.”

Van righted Escaflowne to the west, eyes focused on the dark horizon.

—

Two hours had passed in silence, Hitomi and Allen both solemnly quiet behind him. Van tried to avoid showing it openly, but the elements were beginning to wear on him. The air was cold, especially this high up. His arms were getting sore, and his stomach was cramping; he hadn’t eaten in two days. But he was glad, and proud, that they’d covered so much ground even before the sun rose.

“You two still awake?” he called, looking over his shoulder.

Hitomi and Allen met his eyes wordlessly.

“I’m going to stop for tonight. Is there somewhere safe I can land?”

Dense, shadowy forests populated the mountain ranges below. The thick trees would provide good shelter and hide Escaflowne from Zaibachian eyes.

“There’s a section of the forest coming up that I have a good feeling about,” Hitomi said.

Van wasn’t sure what she meant, but he trusted her directions, so he slowed Escaflowne and asked her to show him where it was.

She climbed up Escaflowne’s back and pointed over his shoulder. Van followed her direction and descended, the landing made uneven by the branches and leaves covering the forest floor. He climbed off and rearranged his windblown mess of hair, waiting for Hitomi and Allen to disembark.

Right away, he said, “We have to find food. I’m starving.”

Allen folded his arms. “Hang on. You’re just going to barge right into the woods and leave Escaflowne here?”

Hiding Escaflowne was important, but priority one was finding something to eat. “You can _watch_ it, can’t you?”

“You’re not going anywhere. You just flew Escaflowne for hours. Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m fine!” He started to walk, then stumbled out of nowhere. Oh. Maybe not.

“You look like you’re going to faint!” Hitomi cried. “I’ll go and find food. You two stay here and make a fire.”

“No,” Allen and Van said simultaneously.

“You’re not going off on your own,” Van continued.

“You can’t defend yourself, and if Zaibach kidnaps you, we have no way of knowing,” Allen finished.

She folded her arms. “Okay, if _I’m_ not allowed to go off on my own, then _no one_ should be allowed to go off on their own.”

“No one should be alone and _unarmed_ ,” Allen corrected her. “Yes, you could take my or Van’s sword with you, but you don’t know how to use a sword. One of us has to be with you at all times because you have no way of defending yourself.”

“What if…” She smirked. “What if I have to go to the bathroom? I can’t have my privacy?”

“Obviously he didn’t mean _all_ the time,” Van said. “He just means that we’ll take turns accompanying you. You and Allen will look for food, and I’ll build a fire. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good to me,” Hitomi said.

“We’ll be back as soon as we find something,” Allen said.

—

Van felt like something was crawling under his skin. What could possibly happen while Hitomi and Allen were alone together? He was less scared that they would get attacked and more afraid that Allen would try to make another move on her. It didn’t matter that a dark forest was more frightening than romantic—the guy could probably make anything seem romantic, and it didn’t help that Hitomi was so hung up on him.

He pulled his knees closer to his chest. The air wasn’t as thin as it had been when he was flying Escaflowne, but it was cold. Even if it was a little humid, it was nowhere close to typical summer temperatures in Fanelia or Asturia. Hitomi and Allen, wearing long sleeves, were far better-dressed for the chill of the mountains, while he needed the heat of the flames to keep him warm.

It was a good-looking fire. His flint had fallen out of his pocket somewhere along the way, so he’d had to cut a channel in a larger, thick stick and rub a smaller stick, carved into a flat point, in the channel. It had taken a few tries and two sets of sticks, and after getting the fire going, he’d had to throw a lot of twigs and tinder on it to sustain it. Once he’d made the fire, he’d still had to gather more branches to cover up Escaflowne, cutting some larger ones off of trees. His arms were so sore that he wasn’t even that hungry anymore; he just wanted to rest. Nestling his chin in his knees, he closed his eyes and listened to the crackle of the fire.

“Van!”

His eyes flashed open. “Hitomi?” He unfolded his knees from his chest.

“Oh, sorry to wake you.”

“I wasn’t sleeping. Did you find anything?”

“That’s a nice fire you’ve built,” Allen said.

“Thanks.” He couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “Did you find f—” He stopped talking when he saw the armfuls of fruit they were holding.

“Where did you find all of _that_?!” he sputtered.

Allen grinned. “Hitomi said she had a good feeling about this forest, didn’t she?”

“There were fruits and nuts all over the ground. And some plants Allen said are okay to eat. I don’t know what any of it is, but those red berries are delicious. You have to try some of them.”

They sat down and divided the spoils evenly among them, with a bit less for Hitomi because she’d eaten about half of the red berries while picking them. They were delicious, sweet and slightly tart. It was certainly an improvement upon the grubs and snakes he’d had the last time he was in the wilderness, with Hitomi and Merle. He and Hitomi had talked about family, and she’d said she wanted to come with them on their journey. He felt a brief pang of nostalgia, and not for the grubs and snakes.

“Remember the last time we were on the run?” Hitomi said, as if she knew what he was thinking.

Van smiled. “Yeah. It was quite an adventure.”

“What _did_ you do before we met up at the lake?” Allen asked.

“We were in the forest for one night. Then we started flying on Escaflowne, and we passed a Drag-Energist mine manned by Zaibach troops. I tried to sabotage the operation, but Hitomi was taken hostage, and they were going to kill her if I didn’t surrender. So I was tied up and tortured. They tried to get me to speak, but I wasn’t going to say anything. The commander had this huge snake, and he was going to have it bite Hitomi if I didn’t talk.” He looked over at her and could see her wincing. “But then Hitomi’s… thing made noise, and it distracted them long enough that I kicked the guy holding my sword, untied my ropes, and helped get us out of there.”

Allen squinted. “What ‘thing’ was that?”

“Uh…” He looked to Hitomi. “What did you call it again?”

“My pager. I’d show you, but it’s not with me.”

“What does it do?” Allen said.

“You use it to send and get messages to and from people you know.”

“Sending messages? Like sending letters?”

“Kind of.”

“But why does it make noise?” Van asked.

“That’s just the noise it makes when you’re getting a message from someone. It’s a way to send messages without sending a physical letter. As long as you and the person you’re sending a message to each have a pager, you can send and get messages. Like the pagers are your couriers relaying the message from one person to another.”

Allen nodded. “I see.”

“Got it,” Van said, though he didn’t really understand, and he doubted Allen did either. “Anyway, I wanted to go after this storehouse filled with Drag-Energists. But they resonated with Escaflowne’s Drag-Energist, and there was an earthquake. It split the ground in half, and I had to use my wings to save her and Merle.” He wasn’t going to tell Allen about the conversations he’d had with Hitomi and hoped she would understand why he’d left them out.

“And then you met up with us?”

“Yeah. Right before that, they attacked us in the woods. I led them out to the lake because they were using their stealth cloaks.”

Allen shook his head, his eyes wide. “What an adventure. I’m impressed.”

“Huh? Why do you say that?”

“Starving out the enemy by destroying their Energist supply? That’s smart. I wouldn’t have expected you to come up with such an intelligent strategy. I’m not entirely sure if I would have thought of it myself.”

“Really?” That was an offhanded, but kind of nice, compliment. When it came to warfare, Allen had never really complimented him on anything tactical before, only on his skills as a swordsman, and he wasn’t sure how to take it. “Uh, thank you.” He glanced over at Hitomi again. “I guess we wouldn’t have even flown past it if it weren’t for Hitomi’s guidance.”

“If I’d been in your place, I don’t even think I could have stopped. Well, not without the _Crusade_. Your Guymelef makes travel so much easier.” He gestured to Escaflowne. “It’s a good thing we got stuck with this one instead of Scherazade.”

Van looked over at Escaflowne, poorly disguised under its cover of branches and twigs. His bond with Escaflowne was both a gift and a curse. Sure, he was thankful it could fly, but if one went down in battle, the other followed. Even minor injuries were a cause for concern now. Besides, how special was flight when the enemy’s Guymelefs could fly, too? He slumped back down and continued eating his share of dinner.

Then a loud rumble made him jump and nearly choke on the apple into which he’d just bitten.

“Was that thunder?” He looked at the sky.

“Must be,” Allen said. “It’s getting dark.”

“Let’s go stand next to Escaflowne,” Hitomi said.

Just as they did, the clouds burst, and it began to pour.

“Oh, why did it have to rain?” Van whined. The canopy of trees was so thick that he hadn’t thought the rain would even make it through. He should have paid attention to the gathering humidity, but he had focused only on the cold.

“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it,” Allen said.

The brief silence was filled by the rain falling through the trees, the water slowly killing what had been a hearty fire. Van clutched his arms, feeling goosebumps already beginning to form, and wished that the fire had survived the rain.

“Van doesn’t have long sleeves on,” Hitomi said. “He’s going to catch cold.”

“Maybe we could all sit in Escaflowne’s cockpit,” Van suggested. “It would be warm and dry in there, and we’d be sheltered from the rain.”

“No way! All of us squeeze in there? I’m afraid of tight spaces. I need to have room to breathe.” She frowned. “And besides, if I had a nightmare and wanted to get up and walk around, I wouldn’t be able to. I’d probably just wake everyone up anyway.”

“Okay, okay. It was just an idea. But I’m not letting you sleep out here alone. It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ll stay out here with Hitomi,” Allen said. “You can sleep in the cockpit. After all, you’re the one who needs the extra warmth. And it’ll be easy for us to get away if Zaibach catches up with us.”

Van was about to agree. Then he mentally went back over the statement. _I’ll stay out here with Hitomi; you can sleep in the cockpit._

Wait a minute. “I’ll stay out here with Hitomi”?

“I think not,” he snapped. “How about _you_ stay in the cockpit instead, smartass?”

“Excuse me?” Allen was indignant. “What are you talking about, you idiot? It’s _your_ Guymelef. You have a blood pact with it. If I try to get in there by myself, I’ll just get ejected!”

“What?” Van blinked. “So you weren’t going to do anything to her?”

“Excuse me, but…” Hitomi began, timidly.

“What are you suggesting, Van? That if I leave _you_ out here with her, _you’re_ going to do something to her? I thought you were better than that!”

“Van? Allen?”

“I wouldn’t do a thing to her that she didn’t want me to do, not like you!”

Allen furrowed his brow. “What? What are you talking about?”

“You kissed her and called her your ‘lover’ in front of Dilandau so that he wouldn’t ask any more questions about her. Why did you think that was necessary? Was that _really_ the first solution that came to mind?”

“Hey, listen…” Hitomi’s tone was getting more urgent.

A flush rose to Allen’s cheeks. “Listen, Van, that was an emergency and I did what I had to, and don’t think I don’t regret it!”

“I could think of a _million_ ways to get out of that situation that would have involved something other than kissing someone you just met!”

“ENOUGH ALREADY!”

Van ground his teeth and looked at Hitomi. She was standing between them with her hands on her hips. _This better be important_ , he thought, glaring at Allen. He’d have half a mind to throw that half-eaten apple still in his hand and knock him out if it weren’t for Hitomi.

“We’re not even getting rained on!”

“What are you talking about?” Van said.

Allen gestured to the rain. “It’s pouring!”

Hitomi groaned dramatically, pointing upward. “We’ve been standing under Escaflowne’s wing for ten minutes! What are you even arguing about?!”

“Oh.” Van suddenly felt stupid.

“…Right,” Allen said in a similar tone of voice. “I’m sorry, Van. Sorry you had to hear that, Hitomi.”

“Sorry, Allen, Hitomi,” Van said, already forgetting what his and Allen’s argument had even been about. “I’m tired, and I wasn’t thinking.” He sat down, taking the last few bites of the apple, throwing the core away, and setting his elbow on his knee and his cheek in the palm of his hand. ~~~~

Hitomi sat down next to him, Allen following. “If you’re tired, you can sleep,” she said. Remember what Allen said—it’s good to take a break to lose Zaibach.”

“And it’s impossible to fly for that long anyway. You were already exhausted when we left Zaibach.” Allen paused for a moment. “That was probably one of the longest days of my life, if you could even call it a single day.”

Hitomi made a sad sound and lowered her head. A sudden chill struck Van. He brought his knees to his chest again, holding them tightly to his body. If only he had a blanket.

“Do you want my uniform coat?” Hitomi asked.

He didn’t really want Hitomi to be cold either, but it was a smart idea, considering she wore a long-sleeved shirt under her uniform coat. “Yeah, I’ll take it, I guess.”

Allen leaned over Van and said to Hitomi, “You know, your legs are going to be cold. Why don’t you take this?” He unbuckled his sword belt, then undid the toggle of his uniform skirt and held it up. “You could drape it over them.”

“That’s so kind of you,” Hitomi said. “Here.” She handed Van her coat and accepted the skirt from Allen. Van felt a prick of irritation that he didn’t have anything to give Hitomi, but simultaneous triumph that she was giving him a piece of her clothing. He tried putting the coat on, but it was just a little tight, so instead he draped it over his shoulders, then lay down on the ground, pulling it around his arms. It fell open, so he placed it over top of his arms instead. He lay there for a couple minutes with his eyes open, listening to Hitomi and Allen settle themselves on the ground. He kept adjusting the coat, but couldn’t find an optimal way to cover his arms. He was so tired, but the goosebumps covering his arms wouldn’t let him sleep.

“Doesn’t it fit?” Hitomi finally asked.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“I might want it back,” she said, sheepish. “This is my spring uniform, so my shirt is a little thinner.”

Van handed her coat back to her, and she put it on.

“How about your legs, Hitomi?” Allen asked. “Are they still cold?”

“It’s fine, but it’s no blanket.” She sat up, just as Van and Allen did, then gave the skirt back to Allen, and he refastened it.

Making a fire underneath Escaflowne’s wing was out of the question. There were no other clothes to share. And Van wasn’t awake enough to keep going, especially not in a storm like this.

“I have an idea,” Allen said.

Van turned to him. “Let me hear it.”

“What if we share our body heat? That way, it won’t be nearly as cold, and we won’t have to pass around our clothes to each other.”

Van buried his face in his knees. “What are you talking about?” He knew what Allen meant, but he had to hide the redness of his face from him. He didn’t want either of them to see him blushing.

“If we sleep close together, with our arms around each other. With Van in the middle, since he’s the coldest one.”

In his peripheral vision, he could see Hitomi smiling. “That’s a great idea! We can both keep Van warm. Then he won’t have to freeze.”

That sounded like cuddling. _Cuddling_! He didn’t really know how he felt about all that affection. It excited him, but it also scared him. He’d rather have Hitomi in the middle, not him in the middle, even if he was the coldest one. No. It didn’t have to be awkward. It was just because he was cold, and Hitomi and Allen were going to share their body heat to keep him warm, that was all.

“I think I would feel safer that way, too,” Hitomi said, “if we stayed closer to each other.”

“What do you think, Van?” Allen asked.

Van acquiesced, lying on his back and closing his eyes, putting his arms behind his head. Then, remembering how sweaty he’d gotten from sitting by the fire, he quickly lowered them so that they were at his sides.

He first heard the stiff rustle of Allen’s shirt against leaves and grass, and him shifting so that he was closer to Van. Allen snuggled into his side so that his chest was pressed lightly into Van’s bare arm. He was warm, very warm, and he stank of the woods and sweat; Van flinched when Allen’s breath tickled his ear. Then Allen nestled his head by Van’s shoulder—the tip of his nose brushing Van’s neck as he did, the brief contact making his spine tingle—and draped his arm across Van’s chest, toward Hitomi.

Then Hitomi settled in quietly next to Van, grasping his arm with one of her hands and holding it to her body, the touch making his stomach do backflips. Hitomi wasn’t as warm as Allen, but she smelled good, fragrant like those berries she’d eaten. He wanted to bury his nose in her hair. Hitomi, Hitomi. He turned his head toward her, and she set her head on top of his shoulder as if it were her pillow.

Then he felt her arm on his chest, and she and Allen interlocked their hands over his heart. His eyes still closed, he became aware of his own heartbeat, pounding slightly out of its usual rhythm, a little quicker, against their hands’ embrace. Emboldened by their warmth and closeness, he raised his right hand—the same arm that Hitomi was holding—and placed it over theirs, curling his fingers against the outside of their hands.

Just before he drifted off, exhausted but pleasantly warm, both inside and outside, a thought struck him. _Stuck here forever_. Stuck here with Allen and Hitomi, forever. In that moment, he forgot about Merle, Folken, and Fanelia. In that moment, he liked the sound of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Light filtering through the leaves of the trees woke Van up. The forest floor was slightly damp, and cold dew dampened the back of his shirt. Opening his eyes, he tried to stretch his arms, then remembered how they had gone to sleep last night. He looked left and saw that Allen was sleeping on his side, faced away from him. He must have gotten up in the middle of the night. And Hitomi? He turned his head toward her, and his lips and nose brushed the crown of her head.

A jolt ran down his spine. She hadn’t budged, and she was breathing gently, evidently still asleep. He looked down at his chest, and saw her hand resting there, fingers laced in _his_ , not Allen’s. She was holding it—holding _his_ hand—as if she had reached for him in her sleep upon recognizing that Allen had gotten up. Allen had gotten up and he had slept through it? His heart was accelerating, like it might beat out of his chest, and he hoped that she wouldn’t notice. He closed his eyes. He needed to at least pretend to sleep for as long as he could.

Sadly, only a few minutes passed before she coughed, cleared her throat, and let go of Van’s hand. He opened his eyes and pretended that he had just woken up. “Morning,” he said, voice still groggy.

“Good morning.”

Allen rolled over to face them. “Good morning. Sleep well, you two?”

Van sat up, pulled his shirt down, and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah.”

Hitomi nodded, setting her uniform coat in order and brushing off her skirt.

“I woke up once, but I got back to sleep.” Allen sat up, refastening the toggles and snaps of his jumpsuit that he had undone last night. “It’s quiet around here.”

They sat there in silence for a moment as if to confirm what Allen had said.

“It’s peaceful,” Hitomi said. “We could stay here for a couple days and they might not find us.”

Van’s shoulders tensed. “It would be nice, but we should keep going. The longer we sit around, the quicker they’ll catch up to us.”

“We at least need to find some clean water,” Allen said. “We’ve already found food. If we find water, we could stay here for one more day.”

“But we don’t even know where we are,” Van protested. “We could still be in Zaibach territory for all we know. They might have already caught up with us.”

“Then why haven’t they attacked us? And have you ever tried to pilot a Guymelef in the rain? Advanced technology or not, it’s not easy, and I’ve only done it on land. I can’t imagine flying would be any easier.”

“Fine, I get the point!” Van waved his hands protectively, and, upon raising his arms, found that his muscles were far sorer than he’d realized. “We’ll stay here. But we have to look for water. Hitomi and I will go.”

“Right, it is your turn, I suppose,” Allen said, not without a bit of venom on “suppose.”

Allen clearly wasn’t a morning person. But Van wasn’t in the mood for another argument, so he didn’t respond to that, instead simply saying, “We’ll be back as soon as we find it.” He stood up, and he and Hitomi started into the woods.

—

“Any idea?” Van asked for what must have been the fourth time that morning. He was growing increasingly impatient and increasingly aware of how hungry he still was after last night’s meager meal. The fruit and nuts had been delicious—anyone would prefer them over snakes and grubs—but they weren’t enough sustenance by themselves.

“I don’t know. Maybe I should do a reading.”

“You don’t have to. There are certain signs you can look for.” He stopped and turned to face her. “I should have told you right away. I just sort of assumed you would be able to find it.”

“It’s not your fault. I think my pendant is for finding you guys, not for finding water and food.”

“Finding me and Allen? What do you mean?”

“I think I’m starting to understand something about it. I always used it without thinking; I never knew its true purpose. But now I understand what it does. It draws me to the people I care about and draws them to me. If we got lost and needed to get back to Allen, I could get us there in no time. Ask me where our enemies are, I can tell you that, because I don’t want us to get hurt. But other than that, I can’t do much.”

“‘Can’t do much’? What are you talking about? Don’t say you ‘can’t do much.’ Your special power is incredible, really. You taught me how to find my enemies, and you use your power all the time to save us. You’re amazing.”

“You really believe that?” Her cheeks flushed pale pink, and his heart skipped.

“Of course. You’ve saved us so many times, how could I not believe it? I guess I believe in you too much sometimes.” He scratched the back of his head, feeling his own blush creep to his cheeks. “Uh, sorry. That’s right. The water.” He swallowed. _Forget the water; just tell her!_ Without Allen around, he could easily take this opportunity…

“So how do we find it?”

Damn it! He’d missed that two-second window when he could have told her. Later. He’d be ready later.

“Van? Are you okay? Your face is all red.”

“Fine, fine, I’m fine. Right. Yeah. Water.” Why was he suddenly reduced to a blithering mess? If only he’d been born with Allen’s charm and composure. “Um, well, when the ground becomes softer, there’s usually water nearby. Especially if there’s sand or finer dirt, which would be near a lake or ocean.”

Hitomi lifted up her foot, pointing to the underside of her shoe. “It rained last night, so it’s a little muddy everywhere.”

Duh. He mentally smacked himself. He must look like such an idiot to her. “Well, animal tracks are another sure sign that there’s water nearby. We could look for tracks.”

“Or just listen for the sound of a creek or stream?”

“That’s probably the best way.” Why was he forgetting the obvious? Was he still _that_ tired? “Keep quiet and listen.”

They walked in silence for a little while. Then Hitomi pointed to some tracks on the ground. They followed the tracks to the bubbling of a small creek. Van took his gloves off and, scooping the water in his hands, found it was mostly clear and probably clean. He lifted it to his mouth and drank. It was cold.

“How are we going to bring this back to Allen?” Hitomi said. “We don’t have a bottle or anything to carry it in.”

“We’ll take turns coming here, just like with everything else.”

“Let’s go back and tell him right away.” She smiled. “I’m so glad we found clean water. Isn’t this great? We’ll be able to stay here again tonight.”

For a moment, Van forgot how dangerous it was to stay in the same place, even if they were in the middle of nowhere in the forested mountains. He thought about staying close to Hitomi and Allen last night, and how he’d slept a blissful, dreamless sleep. Looking in her eager green eyes, he forgot about the others, forgot that he was the King of Fanelia and had to defeat Zaibach to avenge his country and secure his future, even forgot, just momentarily, about Hitomi being from another world. For now, he was just Van.

“That sounds nice,” he said, getting to his feet and turning back the way they had come.

—

He and Allen took turns going to the river with Hitomi to get hydrated, gathering food along the way, which was easy in such an oddly abundant area. The soil was fertile, with many plants growing that Allen recognized and brought back either because they were edible or because they had medicinal purposes. If he couldn’t eat it, Van wasn’t interested, but he wasn’t going to stop Allen from collecting the herbs—they might come in handy. In the evening, they were worn out from the day’s work and fell asleep quickly—Van on his back with his arms behind his head, Hitomi on her stomach across from him, Allen upright against a tree—around the fire.

The next morning, Van woke up late, the fire having already been put out. Hitomi was already sitting up, an apple in hand, and Allen had just come back from the river. They ate a tiny breakfast in silence, splitting the small amount of food and water evenly among themselves. Overconfident in how much food was in the area, and having worked all day, they’d eaten too much last night, and their supply had quickly thinned. Even after Van ate, his stomach kept cramping. Maybe because the river water had been a little dirty, or, more likely, he was really, really hungry.

“It’s getting tougher to find food,” Allen said, as if he knew what was on Van’s mind. “Either we move on or we stay here and eat the wildlife.”

“I don’t have a problem with that. If you want to stay here.” Van looked over at Hitomi. He knew she wouldn’t want to eat animals and insects—she’d refused the grubs even when they were the only food available—but he hated to see her so worn out.

“I saw some rats and plenty of insects.” Allen briefly glanced at Hitomi, who was frowning. “I know it’s disgusting, but there’d probably be more than enough for all of us.”

Hitomi said nothing.

Silence fell again. The dead fire and the leaves and grass on the forest floor suddenly became very interesting. Allen was looking at the sky. Van turned his attention to the rocks underneath the trees. He’d been staring at them last night while waiting for Hitomi and Allen to return with food, and in that light he hadn’t noticed how much moss was growing on them.

Hitomi sighed and stood up. “I’m going to get a drink.”

Neither Van nor Allen moved to get up.

“I’ll come with you,” Van offered, but Hitomi put out her hand in front of her.

“No, thank you. I’m going alone. I can’t stand the silence.”

Van threw up his hands. “Nobody said you couldn’t talk.”

“Nobody said a thing. You’re not saying anything. All we did yesterday was go to the river and find food. Why don’t you two sit here and talk? You were totally silent last night, and I’m not going to sit through it again today. It’s way too _boring_!”

She ran off in a huff. They sat there awkwardly for a moment, looking everywhere but at each other.

Then Allen said, “So, how are you?”

“Fine, I guess. You?”

He sighed, not Hitomi’s “I’m bored” sigh but more of an “I’m tired” sigh. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, to be perfectly honest.”

Well, he _had_ been sitting upright instead of lying down. “Were you too uncomfortable?”

“No, that wasn’t it. I just…” His face fell. “I couldn’t get to sleep no matter how hard I tried. I kept thinking about the Mystic Valley, about Atlantis. Now that we’re out of Zaibach, I can’t stop thinking about what I saw there.”

Atlantis. Van had been trying to keep it in the back of his mind, but now he couldn’t help but remember it: Fanelia. Balgus. The specters of the dead. Hitomi’s voice.

“What did you see?”

“I saw my father. My mother and my sister, too. Just briefly, but I saw them.”

“And your father talked to you?”

“Yes. We discussed some… family matters.”

Van stared at him, hoping he’d clarify. Allen looked reluctant, but he continued. “I thought he didn’t love us and that he’d abandoned us, but now I know I was wrong. He was just confused, very confused. I don’t think he ever wanted to get married, let alone have children. But he grew to love us anyway.”

But if Allen had talked to his father in Atlantis… Van had talked to Balgus, and seen all those ghosts. That meant…

“What happened to him? Is he dead?”

“He was killed by Zaibach troops.”

Van didn’t openly express condolences; instead, he remained silent for a moment. Why say “I’m sorry” when it couldn’t bring Allen’s father back, couldn’t bring Balgus back?

“What about your parents?” Allen said. “Your father?”

“He died when I was three. I didn’t know him at all.” _I sort of envied you for even knowing your father, for getting to spend so much time with him_ , Van thought but didn’t say. And why would he anyway? Allen was still uneasy talking about his father. Van didn’t know how to talk about fathers because he’d never had one. Balgus was the closest to a father that he’d had.

“Your mother?”

“When I was five, she went looking for my older brother. He disappeared during the Rite of Succession to become Fanelia’s next king. She never returned.”

“Sounds like she died of grief.”

“Like your mother,” he ventured, and wasn’t sure if the comparison would offend Allen or make him feel too vulnerable. Talking about family with the guy was like walking on eggshells. He clearly had loved his family to pieces, but any mention of them made him break into those same pieces. At least Van had a good reason to be angry at Folken. Well, Allen’s anger was justified too, he supposed, but Van couldn’t truly understand because he would have been happy just to have known his father, or to spend more than the brief amount of time he’d had with his mother.

“True.” He didn’t seem to be insulted. “And you lost your sibling too.”

“He’s still alive.” Van wasn’t sure what made him reveal it to Allen. Had he even met Folken? “But I’d rather he’d stayed lost.”

Allen looked deeply hurt. “Why do you say that?”

“He’s with Zaibach.”

“Oh.” Allen’s expression was unreadable. “Still, you should cherish the fact that he’s even alive. I would give anything to see my sister again. I would give my entire life if it meant that she could be free and happy. I just can’t accept that she’s gone. She has to be out there somewhere.”

He’d never heard Allen speak so freely about his family, not even in the discussions with Hitomi that he’d overheard. Allen looked raw and overwhelmed, but he also looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had never seen Allen completely overcome by any emotion aside from anger and couldn’t picture him crying, but the way his voice had dwindled on the last few words made Van wonder if he ever did.

“It—it just spilled out of me. I’m sorry.” Allen raised his hands in front of his chest, fingertips slightly curled.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Van smiled. “It’s _okay_ , Allen.”

Allen lowered his hands and breathed out in relief. “Thank you.”

“I hope you find her, too,” Van offered. “I don’t entirely hate my brother. But I’ve accepted that he’s part of Zaibach now. He is my enemy, and I will never side with him.”

“He must miss you terribly.”

“What?!” Van curled his lip in anger. But… maybe there was some truth to that. Why else would Folken have asked Van to join him, to side with Dornkirk? No, that wasn’t it. Folken wasn’t on his side. Folken was the enemy. And yet, he was still Folken, still his brother.

“Don’t be ridiculous. He doesn’t miss me, and I don’t—”

Hitomi’s voice suddenly interrupted their conversation.

“Van! Allen! Come here and look what I found!”

Allen exchanged a quick glance with him, and they got up from their seats on the forest floor, following the sound of her voice. She wasn’t at the river.

“Where are you?” Van called.

“Over here! I’m over here!”

They ran through a short stand of trees to a clearing. Hitomi sat in front of a small, calm pool that was surrounded by tiny white flowers and an even, soft green carpet of grass. The water was still, but not stagnant, colored blue by the vague reflection of the sky. Sunlight streamed through branches, creating sparkling mirrors across the pond’s surface. Hitomi had taken off her socks, and her legs were in the water up to her knees.

She grinned widely. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“It looks clean,” Van observed. “But we’ve already got the river, so we don’t need a lake.”

“Not to drink, silly. To swim in! You two can go for a swim!”

Van looked over at Allen. He was looking at Hitomi, his face lit up with childlike joy. “That’s a wonderful idea!”

“Hold on just a moment.” Van crossed his arms. “If we do that, Hitomi has to leave, and I don’t want to leave her alone any longer. I don’t know how dangerous it could get around here.”

“Huh? Why do I have to leave?”

“You _know_ why.” Hitomi still looked clueless, and Van hoped he wasn’t blushing again. “Besides, if we kept everything on, we’d have to dry off our clothes. That’d be a huge waste of time.”

Allen elbowed him in the shoulder. “Just take everything off except your breeches.”

Van squinted at him. “‘Breeches’?”

“Ah, what is the Fanelian term again—braies?”

“Okay… but I’m not doing that in front of Hitomi,” he said, dropping his voice to a whisper.

Hitomi was staring at them, wide-eyed. “Um…”

“Van and I are going to change into our undergarments.” Right, “undergarments,” that was the _Gaean_ word. Why hadn’t Allen said that in the first place? Van would have understood that.

“Oh, okay! Go ahead and get changed. I won’t look.”

Van turned away from her and Allen and slipped his shirt over his head, took off his gloves, then unbuckled his sword belt and pulled off his boots, stockings, and pants. Facing the water, he sat down next to Hitomi and tested it with his toes, then quickly withdrew his foot, hissing through his teeth.

“Cold?” Allen said.

“It’s freezing!”

“Can’t be _that_ bad. I’ve swum in some particularly cold rivers before.” Allen walked up beside him and dipped his foot in the water. “Oh, that’s nothing.” He slid his legs underneath the water until it was slightly below his waist; as he turned to face him, Van noticed the fresh scar in his side and the waistband of his white linen undergarments peeking above the water. “Come on. You’ll get used to it.”

He was _really_ smiling. Van had never seen him look so pleased, and it kind of made him feel happy, too.

“Do you like swimming?” Van asked, slowly easing his lower half into the frigid water.

“Yes. It’s one of my favorite ways to relax. You?”

“Fanelia’s kind of dry for swimming, so I don’t really get the chance.” Van turned around and saw that Hitomi’s hands were still covering her eyes. “Hitomi, you can look now.”

Hitomi removed her hands and opened her eyes. Her cheeks reddened, and she stuttered.

“What?” Van looked left and right. “What’s wrong?”

A quiet “heh” from Allen made him turn his head. He was smirking.

“What’s so funny?” Van whispered.

“She’s just enjoying the show,” Allen whispered back.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” Of _course_ Allen would take any opportunity to show off.

“Oh, it’s not just _me_ she’s looking at.” He looked over at Hitomi, and Van followed his eyes.

Van felt warmth creeping into his own cheeks. He looked away, trying and failing to hide his blush from Allen.

Allen giggled. “Stage fright?”

Van swished his hand across the surface of the water, lightly splashing Allen.

“Hey, watch it!” Allen splashed him right back.

Van flinched and went to brush off his arm, then realized he was just making it more wet. He splashed more water in Allen’s direction, scooping with his hands and pushing up toward Allen’s face. Allen fought back with his own water. They were laughing and throwing water at each other, Van grinning like an idiot as he pushed his dripping bangs away from his eyes, daring to shove Allen with enough force so that he fell back and went under. When he resurfaced, Allen grabbed Van’s head and dunked him underwater, and Van came back up laughing and laughing. They kept splashing each other until Hitomi cried, “Oh, man!”

They looked innocently at her. She was brushing her skirt off, trying to wipe it down with a handkerchief. “You got me all wet!”

“Oh,” Van said. “Sorry about that. We got carried away.”

“‘We’?” Allen glared playfully at him. “You started it!”

“I did not,” Van shot back, ready to list every reason why it was really Allen’s fault, but then he stopped and closed his mouth before he continued speaking, and lowered his head, suddenly hit with a deluge of thoughts all at once.

The first of these was _Folken_. That was all he thought, just one word. Allen could not replace Folken—nobody could—but he felt small and young suddenly, like the little kid who had just been on the receiving end of a noogie from his older teenage brother. It was a fleeting thought, but it pained him enough that he felt a pang in his heart and was unable to meet Allen’s eyes.

The next was _my friends_. Hitomi and Allen were his friends. After Folken’s disappearance and Mother’s death, he had been a lonely child, with Merle, Balgus, and sometimes Ruhm the only ones keeping him company. He had never called anyone who was his own age or slightly older his friend. Allen was more like a friend than a brother—they weren’t that close, not yet—but he couldn’t stop his brain from making both connections, and it made the first thought hurt even more.

The third thought was _I’m happy_. He hadn’t smiled like this in weeks. Not since what had happened on the battlefield, when he’d—no, he couldn’t think of that, not now when he was having so much fun. _Fun._ He felt like a child just discovering these things for the first time, filled with warmth and light, but now that he was older and had experienced so much hurt in his life, somehow it felt even lovelier and sweeter than before. This thought lifted him up and lessened the pain from the first thought he’d had of Folken.

But the final thought was the one he voiced. “Zaibach.” There was no way around it. They weren’t here together as friends because they’d wanted to spend time together; it was just a nice coincidence. They were stranded in the mountains because they’d escaped from Zaibach and they were still on the run. Family, friends, and happiness didn’t matter. Not when Zaibach was pursuing them.

“What about Zaibach?” Allen’s concerned voice brought him back to reality. He suddenly spoke with a soft, gentle tone. Had he thought of his sister? Was he missing his sibling, too?

He looked up at Hitomi. She’d forgotten about her skirt; instead, she stared at him, looking right through him with sad eyes.

Van sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make everything serious again. I…”

Allen shook his head. “Don’t apologize. It’s only natural. War doesn’t afford you a moment of peace. With so many other things to worry about, you always forget to do something for yourself.” He exhaled a short breath through his nose and started toward the edge of the water.

“Wait, don’t get out!” Hitomi leaned forward, bracing herself on the bank with the heels of her hands, her legs still knee-deep in the water.

Allen froze. “Hitomi?”

“I was so happy, seeing you guys playing in the water. You never have any fun! It’s all about fighting and war. I wanted you to forget about all that for a little bit. And you did, but then you go right back to talking about Zaibach. I hate that! And I’ve had enough of hearing about it!”

Withdrawing her legs from the water, she stood up, placing her hands on her hips. Van’s eyes widened. He was afraid she was going to turn around and run away, and he was about to reach out his hand to stop her.

Then she threw her coat aside and jumped in.

Water splashed him and Allen. They stared blankly at the ripples and continued to stare as she surfaced. Blinking rapidly, she shook her head and brushed her bangs out of her eyes, rubbing away the water that was dripping from her nose and chin.

“That’s better,” she said.

Allen and Van looked at each other.

“What?” She shrugged. “You got my skirt wet. Either I wait for it to dry or I just get everything wet.”

Van snorted. Allen grinned. Then they burst into laughter, bending over in mirth, Hitomi’s giggles joining the chorus.

—

The conversation that evening was an animated one. Hitomi asked Allen how he knew so many wild plants, and he started talking about books that he’d read when he was a child. He’d been interested in nature books and adventure stories especially, many of the latter of which he’d read while living with Balgus. Van recognized many of the titles of the adventure stories, because they’d been in Balgus’ library—the books he’d read when he was younger must have belonged to Allen. Allen’s two favorites—he hadn’t been able to pick only one—had been _The Disheartened Princess_ (which was more about the love triangle between Princess Emmeline of Descardia, Sir Reinhard de Gallastino, and Lady Lavinia Lamore than an adventure tale, but it had both romance and adventure) and _Tales of Egzardian Banditry_ (about a company of poor Asturian thieves who made a killing off of unsuspecting Egzardian aristocrats). Van’s favorite had always been _The Fanelian Rogue and the Asturian Knight_. Allen agreed it was a classic story of friendship, and one of his own favorites.

Then Hitomi told them about Mystic Moon books that she liked. There were two types of books that were unique to her home country: light novels and manga. Manga were almost entirely made up of pictures, with the words being spoken by the illustrated characters. Light novels were quick, fun reads with fewer pictures. Hitomi preferred “girls’ manga,” which were mostly mushy love stories, and her current favorite was called _Marmalade Boy_. Judging from the title alone, Van thought it sounded kind of dumb (though he didn’t say it out loud), but she assured them not all manga were girly—there were manga and light novels made especially for girls and ones made for boys, just like books on Gaea, and as far as topics, manga covered everything from love stories to adventure stories to tales of the supernatural. It sounded interesting enough, but Van wondered if anything from the Mystic Moon could be as riveting as _The Secret of the Freidian Temple_ or _The Fanelian Rogue and the Asturian Knight_.

Because he felt much better rested than yesterday—and still excited from the day’s excursion and their discussion about books—he found it hard to sleep, even after both Hitomi and Allen had shut their eyes. Hitomi always slept on her stomach, using her forearms or hands, or sometimes her uniform coat, as a pillow. Allen slept on his side, always curled away from the fire and the others, one arm slung out on the ground, the other close to his heart, his uniform half-undone so that the straps didn’t dig into his shoulders. Van couldn’t help but smile, seeing them finally get the rest they deserved, as much as he’d wanted to keep talking to them.

Hitomi muttered something into her coat. Van’s stomach turned. The last time they’d slept as a group, she’d called out for Allen to help her while she was dreaming. He’d hated the feeling of second-hand embarrassment that had brought and had no desire to endure it again. Yet he was curious. Would she still call out for Allen?

“Hey…” she said. “…’s my pendant… get back here, Merle!”

Van smiled, but the humor of the moment was fleeting. Hitomi must be missing her. Merle probably missed her too, and he could only imagine how torn up Merle must be about his absence.

Then Allen mumbled something. So he was a sleep talker, too? What were the odds of getting stranded with two sleep talkers? What would he say? It would probably be “Hitomi” or “Millerna.” Or both of their names. _Yuck_. Oh, whatever, it was Allen after all, the same guy who’d said his favorite “adventure” story was _The Disheartened Princess_. Van had always flown in his dreams. Well, that was how they had been until Fanelia burned. Then the nightmares had begun.

“Father, don’t go…” Allen said.

Van felt a pang in his heart. He didn’t feel embarrassed that they were talking in their sleep; they couldn’t control that. He was more embarrassed by his own assumptions. Did he really not know them all that well?

“Please, Father, I won’t be the same without you…”

Van pulled one of his knees close to his chest, suddenly aware of his pounding heart. He wanted to plug his ears with his fingers. If only he could lay down and sleep. If only he could sleep—

An animal snarled close by, followed by a crack of thunder.

Hitomi sat upright, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Did you hear that?”

Allen snapped up his uniform and slowly drew his sword. “What was that?”

Van went for his sword, too. “I don’t know. It must be close.”

Dead leaves rustled. Van’s entire body tensed. A light rain started, dimming the fire slightly.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Hitomi said. “We need to get on Escaflowne and run.”

“Then let’s go,” Van said, though they all stayed still. The rain began to pick up, the fire fighting a losing battle against the downpour.

“Don’t,” Allen said. “There’s no sense in drawing more attention by escaping with Escaflowne.”

Van ground his teeth in irritation. “So what do you think we should do?” He didn’t really care about being seen, not when his shirt was getting soaked; he wanted to be in Escaflowne to sweat and warm up. But Allen had a point.

“Wait for them to attack and fend them off. Then escape with Escaflowne, on the ground.”

“Why not just escape n—” A snarl interrupted him, glowing eyes descending upon him and knocking him to the ground. Hitomi shrieked.

The oversized, feral beast stared him down over the end of its snout. Its ragged gray fur was so dirty that it appeared pitch black, almost as if it were the menacing, ghostly shadow of a creature rather than a living being. The pointed ears made it clear it was a wolf. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen one, but it was the first time he’d felt a wolf’s hot breath against his neck, its legs tangled with his limbs. He was so startled by its sudden appearance and its proximity that he froze, unable to move.

Then he heard a thud. Allen’s gloved fist collided with the side of the wolf’s head, and it whimpered, falling on its side, leaving it open for a fatal blow from Allen’s sword. Hitomi shrieked again and took a few steps backward. Van got to his feet just in time to counter the wolves that were approaching her. He slashed at them, his blade drawing hot red blood, and Allen tussled with the two largest wolves, kicking and cutting them as Hitomi winced.

“They’re just animals,” she cried. “They don’t know any better! Why are you fighting them? Why can’t we just run?”

“Look at the malice in those things’ eyes,” Van retorted. “I’m not going to let them hurt you!”

Van scanned the dark trees for more of the pack. Where there were five, there could very well be five more. Then he realized Allen had disappeared from beside him, and he whirled around to see that the biggest wolf had pinned him down at the foot of the trees near Escaflowne. His hair was tangled in the bushes, his shirt ripped near the collar where it must have gotten snagged on the briars. The wolf loomed over him, a low rumble in its throat, and he grunted desperately, trying to push the beast off of him. As it opened its jaws, his eyes went wide.

Van’s mind went blank. Blinded by raw fury and possessed by a protective instinct, he felt his body moving, his legs rushing him over to the foot of the trees. Throwing himself across Allen’s body, he shut his eyes and braced himself. The wolf sank its cold, sharp teeth into the flesh between his shoulder and neck, and he bit down hard on his tongue, barely repressing his scream.

“What are you doing?!” Allen cried, shoving Van aside with more force than was necessary. Van rolled over onto his back, his sword flying out of his grasp, his head colliding with the briars so that they scratched his forehead lightly, his wet hair getting stuck in the leaves and mud beneath him. He’d taken a hit for Allen, and that was the thanks he got? Regardless, he had to get back up and fight. The rest of the pack had to be on its way, and he couldn’t let them get Hitomi.

“Van, don’t move!” Allen shouted.

“But, Hitomi—” Van tried to get up, but grunted in pain, his shoulder aching. “She’s in danger!”

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect her!”

Allen punched the wolf; it snarled and attempted to bite him. As he moved to avoid it, he slipped on the mud and fell on his side. Van’s heart jumped, and he felt a lump of despair in his throat, but Allen supported himself with his left elbow and thrusted his blade into the wolf’s chest. There was a wet splatter of blood, followed by a scream from Hitomi, and a thump as the wolf fell to the ground. Van closed his eyes to the violence, trying to ignore the throbbing in his shoulder so that he could get back to his feet, but when he set his right hand on the ground and tried to push up, he cried out in pain.

“Van!” Allen gasped.

He opened his eyes. Allen was still on the ground, grasping his bloodied sword, propped up on his elbow, hand resting against his side. He was breathing heavily, soaked by the rain and his own sweat, meeting Van’s eyes with a pleading glance. The lifeless wolf lay between them, blood clumped in its dirty fur and still trickling from the open wound near its heart. Struck by sudden nausea, Van diverted his gaze, turning his head toward the edge of the woods, and saw the remainder of the wolves lingering there, and Hitomi standing still, frozen in front of him and Allen.

“Run, Hitomi!” Van yelled, using all the breath in his lungs. If they couldn’t escape, at least she had to. “Leave us! Get out of here!”

Hitomi didn’t run. Instead, she stepped in front of them, firmly planting herself in front of the soles of Allen’s boots.

“Hitomi, don’t!” Allen tried to get up, his hand still on his side, as if his scar pained him. Van kept his hand on his shoulder, warm blood already staining his glove.

“Leave my friends alone!” Hitomi spread her arms, her legs in a wide, confident stance. “There’s no reason for us to fight. We’re just trying to keep ourselves alive. Just like you!”

Van was still trying to breathe from the wound, but he felt even more breathless hearing Hitomi use the word “friends” to describe them. He looked over at Allen and couldn’t discern from his expression whether the word had affected him in the same way, but he was sure it had. But wait. Forget that. Hitomi was in danger from the wolves.

“Are you crazy?!” Van cried, looking around him for his sword.

Allen shushed him. “It might work!”

Van watched Hitomi. There was a moment of silence, punctuated only by the light rain, in which the wolves growled, their breaths materializing in the air, their eyes and teeth gleaming in an otherworldly way. And then the rain stopped, and they turned around and walked toward the trees, disappearing into the same darkness from which they had come, as if they had never even existed in the first place.

Hitomi finally exhaled the breath she’d been holding for the last minute and fell to her knees.

Having gathered his strength again, Allen got to his feet and walked the few steps over to her. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, but those wolves… something was wrong with them.”

“Obviously,” Van said bitterly. His wound felt itchy and raw.

Hitomi rushed over to him, Allen following. “How is it?” he asked.

Van removed his hand. Hitomi winced, so he looked down at his shoulder. Though his eyes had adjusted to the darkness, he could just barely see the red bite marks, the smeared blood, and a few scratches from the briars. The skin around the bite was red and inflamed.

“That needs to be washed out,” Allen said.

“Let’s go to the river,” Hitomi said.

Van followed them to the river, looking at his shoulder all the way. He tried not to touch it, but the area surrounding the bite had started to itch. He took off his blood-soaked glove and scratched it, noticing that the more he scratched, the more it seemed to itch. Allen scolded him and he dropped his hand to his side.

At the river, Van took off his shirt, and Allen wet the neckerchief of his uniform and used it to clean Van’s wound. The pain was agonizing, but when he compared it to his wounds from the battle in Freid, it felt inconsequential, so he pressed his lips tightly together and remained silent.

“I’m just going to put a little pressure on it.” Allen pressed on the wound with his fingertips, through the fabric of his neckerchief.

Van pressed his lips together harder. Why had wolves even attacked them? The wild dogs that lived around Fanelia would never attack unless provoked or if they were rabid. Trying to distract himself from the pain, he turned to Hitomi. “You said something was wrong with those wolves? What do you think it was?”

“It happened in a room with bright lights,” she began. “Wolves were lying belly-up on tables, dark-robed figures standing over them with syringes in hand. They were putting collars on the wolves’ necks. Their eyes glowed green, and their teeth were icy cold to the touch.” She buried her face in her hands. “I don’t understand! What happened to them?!”

Allen’s eyes widened.

A chill ran through Van’s body. “They were experimented on?”

“They seemed like they were stuck in between life and death… Oh, I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Wait, I just want to know one thing.” Van said. “The wolves aren’t rabid, are they?”

Removing her face from her hands, she shook her head. “No, they weren’t.”

Van sighed in relief. “Good.” A rabid animal was a death sentence; nobody had ever survived a bite from a rabid wild dog in Fanelia.

Allen turned back toward him. “Your wound is still bleeding a little bit. It needs to be bandaged.”

Van looked at his shirt lying in the grass. “Guess red’s not the best color for bandages.”

Allen hesitated for a moment, then he undid his jumpsuit and took off his shirt.

“What are you doing?” Van said. “You shouldn’t ruin your uniform just to make bandages.”

“It’s already ruined”—he pointed to the tear near the collar—“and I’ve got extras at home. Besides, making sure your wound is dressed properly is more important, so don’t worry about it.”

After washing the shirt, he lay it flat on the ground and used his sword to make small holes in the fabric, at the sleeves, so he could tear them off—leaving just enough sleeve for the jumpsuit to rest on comfortably—then he made more tiny holes so that he could rip the sleeves into strips. He wrapped the resulting bandages around the bite wound, tying them off with the laces of Van’s shirt.

“How’s that? Hopefully it’ll be improved by tomorrow.”

Van hoped so too. He could still hear his pulse in his ears, and his skin continued to itch.

“We should probably stay here,” Allen said. “Van is too tired to travel. He’ll need to have at least overnight to recover.”

Van wasn’t going to argue with him. He could see how much they all needed sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

That night Van dreamt of wolves. Gleaming, sharp white teeth and cold breaths; blood on his and Allen’s blades and hands. Groveling in the dirt at the feet of the beasts, wounds on his shoulders, neck, face, blood, blood, blood. Their canine whimpers morphed into human screams, not his, Allen, and Hitomi’s, but those of the soldiers he’d killed, Dilandau’s men, screaming, screaming, screaming—

His eyes flashed open. It was barely dawn. There was a stabbing pain in his stomach, and his throat felt dry. They hadn’t eaten well last night. After exhausting their supply of berries and nuts, and acknowledging how hungry they all were, they’d elected to eat rats, snakes, and grubs instead. Van had volunteered to eat the rat. In hindsight, that had been a poor choice. Those things were nearly always diseased.

As soon as he sat up, his head started spinning, his vision blurry. He placed the back of his hand to his forehead and found that it was exceedingly warm, and not because he’d woken up drenched with sweat. The growls of those wolves, the cries of the dead echoed in his head, and his wound pricked. If he did get sick, he didn’t want either of them to see that. He tried standing up so he could make his way over to the trees, but the dizziness overcame him, and he fell to his knees, queasy.

“Van? Are you all right?”

Hitomi’s voice sounded as if it were filtered through a tunnel. “My stomach hurts,” he heard himself say, closing his eyes.

“Sit up,” she said, and he did. After he threw up, she sat there rubbing his back while he coughed and wiped his mouth with her handkerchief. His stomach cramped with emptiness. He couldn’t eat _rats_. He wanted rice and vegetables, wanted dark Fanelian tea and warm beds and blankets—

“What happened?” Allen’s voice. “Van got sick?”

“Yes.” Hitomi’s hand on his forehead. “He’s burning up!”

“What’s wrong?” Allen asked him. “Did the food not sit well with you? Did you have a nightmare?”

“Both.”

“How is your wound? Does it hurt?”

He hadn’t paid much attention to his shoulder because of his nausea, but now he noticed how raw it felt. Not just the site of the wound, but all around it. “Feels itchy.”

“I’d better take a look at it.” The bandages were untied, followed by a gasp from Allen.

Hitomi’s turn to gasp. “It’s all red and swollen!”

“This couldn’t have been caused by the bite.”

“Then what is it?”

“He must have gotten into some poison ivy.”

“Poison ivy?”

“It gives you a rash if you come in contact with it. Looks bad… he must be allergic.”

“But then, why…”

“I don’t know. Even this severe, poison ivy wouldn’t cause a fever, much less vomiting.”

Van’s head was still spinning, and his shoulder wouldn’t stop itching. He went to scratch it.

Allen grabbed his wrist, yanking it away from his shoulder. “Don’t touch it! You’re only going to make it worse.”

“What should we do?” Hitomi asked anxiously.

“He should rest for a few more hours, then get some water and something to eat when the sun comes up. Then we’ll talk more about it if he still doesn’t feel better.”

“Do you think his rash will go away on its own?”

“More likely than not, but I’m not sure about his fever.”

 _How am I supposed to get back to sleep after that?_ Van wondered. But he knew that resting was the best cure for sickness, and he gave in and walked back to the fire with them. Allen wrapped his wound with fresh bandages, then he lay down on his stomach with his head buried in his arms and tried to ignore the empty ache in his stomach and the irritating prick in his shoulder.

—

Van didn’t have another nightmare, and he kept his breakfast down much to everyone’s surprise. But his head was just as warm as last night, and he still had bouts of dizziness when he tried to stand up; Allen had to support him all the way to and back from the river. After they returned, he buried his head in his knees and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pulsing pain in his shoulder and his burning forehead, and listened to Allen and Hitomi’s discussion.

“He needs to be taken to a doctor,” Allen insisted. “It’s not good that he’s still running a fever, but it’s worse that we don’t know what’s causing it.”

“Where are we going to find a doctor?”

“How far away is the next town?”

“It would only be a couple days’ journey with Escaflowne, but on foot…”

“There’s _no way_ he can pilot Escaflowne!”

Van lifted his head and unfolded his knees. “And who else is going to do it?”

“Think about your condition!” Allen sighed in frustration. “Look at your face, you’re all flushed. You’re not going anywhere with a fever like that!”

“Not to mention that you got sick last night! What if you throw up again? And you’re injured, and you have a bad rash, too!”

“It’s not like I’m unconscious! If I can walk, I can pilot a Guymelef!”

Allen scoffed. “Oh, sure, you can _walk_ all right. You barely made it to the river, and that was with my help! Don’t be ridiculous, Van, you need to rest!”

“I agree with Allen. You need at least another _day_ to regain your energy!”

“Stop ganging up on me! You’re yelling and it’s making my head hurt!” His eyes felt like they might start to water. If he cried in front of them, he’d never live it down.

“I’m not yelling, I’m just—concerned about you!” Allen sounded exasperated.

“I’m worried too. We don’t want anything bad to happen to you, but you’re too weak to pilot Escaflowne. Wait, what if…”

“What if?” Allen prompted her.

“Maybe if I help Van, we can get to the village in time to treat him!”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were in Zaibach, Van and I were able to move Escaflowne together with our minds. Maybe if I use the power of my mind, I can help Escaflowne move faster.”

“You are _not_ going to do that.”

“I know it seems unlikely, but please, give it a chance, Allen. It might be our only way.”

“I’m not doubting that it might work. I’m afraid it might work too well. What if you get whatever illness Van has?”

“That’s not what would happen, and you know it!” She was pouting. “If it’s going to save Van, I’m willing to give it a try, even if that would happen. And I don’t think it would!”

There was a brief silence, and then a “hmph” from Allen. “I guess _nothing_ can shake your faith in him.”

“Of course not. I believe in both of you, and I believe that I can help Van. Are we going to save his life or not? Don’t you want him to live?”

“Yes, I want Van to live, but I also don’t want Zaibach to get him! There may be another way. I could at least make ointment for his rash, if I found the right plants—”

“—but you’re not Millerna. You’re not a trained doctor. He needs his wound properly disinfected. Even if you could make ointment, the water you used to clean his wound could have been dirty. We need to get him to that village and to a doctor. Right away.”

“You’re right; I’m not Millerna. I’m out of practice anyway. But Van’s not strong enough to pilot Escaflowne yet. He’ll have to rest for at least a few hours, and then we’ll travel tonight.”

“Even if Van is too weak, we can’t stay here. The wolves could come back and attack us. I’m afraid that they will.”

“I’m afraid of that too. And our food supply is getting thin. But we can’t go much further on foot, or we risk leaving Escaflowne behind.”

“I can do it now.” Van felt less dizzy than when he’d first woken up, and his forehead wasn’t burning as intensely. But when he went to stand, he nearly fell, Allen and Hitomi rushing to his side. His shoulder throbbed and prickled.

“I don’t know if you can,” Allen said.

“Van doesn’t have to give it his all,” Hitomi insisted. “I’ll lend Escaflowne some of my strength.”

“I’ll do it. Just tell me what direction to go.” Van got to his feet, pushed the branches off of Escaflowne, then climbed onto its back. He transformed it into its bipedal form and planted himself in the seat of its cockpit. Allen made his way up its side and sat on its left shoulder, the one that hadn’t been bitten by the wolf. Hitomi sat on the other shoulder.

His wound felt a little less tender, though not any less itchy, now that he was inside Escaflowne. He stood up and started to walk. His arms and legs were supported inside of Escaflowne, so there was no danger of falling forward, but he could only take a few steps before he had to stop to breathe. He flipped open the visor to let in more air, sweat beading on his forehead.

“You really are in no condition to do this,” Allen said, leaning forward to look down at Van. “You have to rest.”

“If it means we get away from those freaky, possessed wolves, then I’m getting out of here. What direction, Hitomi?”

“Keep going forward for now. I’ll tell you if you need to turn.”

“Got it.” He flipped the visor back down and started walking, slowly, a few steps at a time. Branches crunched loudly underfoot, Escaflowne’s steps shaking the ground. It was hard to be quiet or delicate with Escaflowne, but at least if they got discovered, it would be easy to escape. He was more bothered that Escaflowne’s heartbeat was a little uneven. He recalled what Hitomi had said when she taught him how to look for his enemies, when they’d practiced with Merle. _Clear your mind and concentrate as hard as you can_. It was tough with an itchy, wounded shoulder, but if he cleared his mind, maybe Escaflowne’s heartbeat would synchronize with his.

Aside from the crunching of leaves and branches and the slow, deliberate crash of steps, everything fell still. Hitomi and Allen were quiet. His shaky breath echoed within the cockpit, sweat dripping down his forehead and soaking his clothes. The further he got, the closer he would be to treatment for his injury and rash. He had to focus on getting further.

The pendant resonated within his mind.

Yes. That was a good sign. He felt a new surge of strength, warmth blossoming in his aching core. Forgetting about the risks of noise and visibility, he sped to a faster pace, feeling refreshed and empowered as Escaflowne’s heartbeat aligned with his. Even as the sun ascended higher in the sky, Van’s focus didn’t waver; he kept walking forward, the pendant ticking continuous time within his mind, three hearts in tandem. He didn’t know how much time had passed before his deathly calm was interrupted by Hitomi.

“Van, can we stop, please?”

He halted. The heartbeats slipped out of alignment with a jerk. “You’d better have a good reason.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you for the last half-hour that we’re hungry and we need a bathroom break!”

“Oh, _fine_.” He sat down, opened the cockpit, and hobbled down to the ground. He was inundated with sweat, his shirt sticking to his chest, and he could barely stand up outside Escaflowne. The supports, both metal and mental, had been keeping him upright.

“How’s your wound doing?” came Allen’s voice from behind him a few minutes later.

Van didn’t turn around. He was still leaning on Escaflowne and didn’t trust himself to stand on his own. “Where’s Hitomi?”

Allen must have thrown up his hands, because Van heard them slap against his sides. He mumbled something that sounded like “good to know I’m appreciated,” but Van wasn’t sure if he’d heard him right.

Van looked over his shoulder. “What? I just asked you a question. Where is she?”

“She’ll be back in a moment. Now, could I please see your wound?”

He reached for Van’s arm. Just as his fingers brushed Van’s shoulder, Van rolled it backward to nudge him away. But when he moved his shoulder, his elbow slipped, and he started to fall backward before Allen caught him.

“You can’t even _stand up!_ ”

“Van? What’s wrong with Van?” Hitomi’s voice was coming closer.

“Nothing!” Van desperately tried to scramble to his feet and get a grip on Escaflowne’s arm where he’d been leaning against it. “I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong!”

“Sit down,” Allen said sharply. “We’re not going any further until you’ve had some rest.”

“But it was going so well until we stopped,” Van protested as Allen helped lower him to the ground. He hid his face in his hands. His nose was starting to run, but he didn’t want to sniffle, because then they would know his eyes were watering. He couldn’t help but pay attention to his itchy shoulder now, and his wound had started to throb again.

“You need sleep, Van.”

The way Allen said it was so gentle, so sympathetic, and it made Balgus flash across his mind briefly and inexplicably, which only made his nose run more. Removing his hands from his eyes, he wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Hitomi offered him a clean handkerchief, and he wiped his eyes and nose. He was trembling, shaking, doing everything he could keep from breaking into sobs.

“It’s okay to take a break. I’m tired too,” Hitomi said. “Since I was helping you move Escaflowne. A nap would do us all good.”

“Will you nap with me?” He was thinking of when they had all slept together underneath Escaflowne a few days ago, so nice and warm in the rain.

A soft laugh from Allen, and then he whispered to Hitomi, “He’s _so_ tired.”

Van scowled. “I heard that.”

“Yes, we’ll take a nap, too,” Hitomi said.

He wiped his eyes and turned around, leaning back against Escaflowne’s leg. He closed his eyes and waited, waited for them to come sit next to him. Hitomi settled in first this time, leaning her back against Escaflowne with a sigh and looping her arm in Van’s. Then Allen sat down next to him, their bare shoulders brushing. Van had just closed his eyes when Allen started humming a song, a Fanelian lullaby, and he felt his very being relax, and he drifted off ignorant of the pain in his shoulder.

—

Van opened his eyes to early evening shadows, trees colored orange by the setting sun. His eyes felt heavy, his mouth was dry, and his stomach hurt. He didn’t register the ache of his wound at first, instead scratching his shoulder and then continuing to scratch it. The more he scratched, the itchier it got. It was itchiest under the bandage, so he started working at the bandage to get underneath it.

Then he realized both Hitomi and Allen were gone.

Forgetting about the itch, he stood up. The sudden motion made his head spin for a moment, black floaters appearing in his vision, and he nearly tripped and fell. But his head felt a little less warm, and he could actually stand upright without any support. Allen had been right—he’d _needed_ that nap.

“Hitomi? Allen?” he called, not caring who else could hear him; if he had to escape an ambush, Escaflowne was right here.

Not a sound. Deathly quiet.

Resting his right hand near the hilt of his sword, he took a few cautious steps away from Escaflowne, listening and looking for movement. Why would they have left without telling him? They must have assumed he would stay asleep. Hopefully nothing had happened to them. He couldn’t imagine living with himself if they had been captured by Zaibach and he had been left behind, especially in his state. In his “condition,” as Allen called it, like he was a sickly waif. It wasn’t like he was bedbound; he’d gotten a fair distance in Escaflowne, with Hitomi’s help.

His eyes were a little sore and puffy. He remembered his tears of exhaustion and frustration, and heat rose to his cheeks. He hadn’t wanted them to see him so weak, but they hadn’t seemed to care. They had told him to rest, sitting down with him, and Allen had hummed that lullaby, the one Balgus had used to whistle. He blushed more deeply, not because he was embarrassed, but because the memory of a few hours ago made him feel warm inside. Together with Hitomi and Allen. It wasn’t so much that he couldn’t do it on his own. No, it was that he _wouldn’t_ do it on his own. He refused to leave them behind, and he had to know where they were.

He set off blindly through the rows of trees adjacent to Escaflowne, trying to listen for the sound of their conversation nearby. They were probably staying quiet because they didn’t want to be caught, so he’d better keep quiet, too—

Wait. The song. Allen would recognize the song.

He inverted his lips, licking them, and started to whistle the tune as he crept through the woods. At the melody’s conclusion, he stopped to listen, but all he heard was the dim echo of his own voice. Following his second attempt, there was still no reply, so he walked back to where Escaflowne sat. They still hadn’t returned. He went in the same direction from which they had come, whistling the song again. After two cycles of the tune, someone else’s voice answered.

“Allen?” he called, his hand remaining at his waist.

Leaves rustled, and he thought he heard Hitomi breathe in surprise. He turned toward the sound and saw her standing beside Allen, cradling three round, large gourds in her arms.

“You found something.”

Hitomi nodded. “Allen says you knock the top off and drink what’s inside. We were looking for a long time, and this was all we found.”

Anything was fine with Van, as long as he didn’t have to eat rats again.

“We didn’t mean to worry you,” Allen said. “You were fast asleep when we left. We figured it was all right to look for food as long as someone stayed with Escaflowne.”

Van blinked. Escaflowne? Nobody was with Escaflowne! He whirled around and broke into a sprint without waiting for them. Thankfully, Escaflowne hadn’t moved a bit. Out of breath, he doubled over, head level with his waist, hands on his knees. He slowly straightened his spine and stumbled over to Escaflowne, leaning against its leg like before, and waited for Hitomi and Allen to join him.

They cracked open the gourds and drank the sweet pink flesh. Van thought back to his childhood in Fanelia, when he and Merle had used to drink Asturian piscus. They’d thought it was the funniest thing ever that it turned your tongue yellow. He wondered if this fruit turned your tongue pink. Thinking of Fanelia reminded him of the song he’d whistled to find Allen and Hitomi, the one that Allen had hummed that afternoon.

“How do you know that song?” he asked, looking at Allen.

Allen smiled. “Oh, ‘Dragon Bride’? That was something Balgus used to whistle.”

Van’s eyes lit up. “He sang it around you too?”

“Mm-hmm. It’s really quite a sad song if you know the story behind it.”

“Actually, I don’t know the story behind it.”

“You don’t?” Allen opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, frowning. “Maybe it’s better that you don’t.”

“No, I want to hear. Tell me.”

“It’s about a Draconian woman who was married to a human man, but when the villagers found out she was a Draconian, they stoned her to death.”

Hitomi and Van both gasped.

“That’s awful,” Hitomi said.

She met Van’s eyes, and he lowered his head. “Dragon Bride” was a Fanelian song—an old one, because when Balgus had sung the words, he hadn’t understood them. Did that mean that there had been other Draconian rulers, in Fanelia past? But Father hadn’t had wings; it was Mother’s heritage that had given him and Folken wings.

“Balgus used that song to teach me a lesson,” Allen continued. “Never judge anyone by their heritage. After all, Draconians are just like everyone else, except they have wings—there’s nothing ‘cursed’ about them.”

Van could correct him, but he appreciated the sentiment, so he didn’t. It was sort of like Hitomi telling him she liked his wings—he would take it as a compliment, even if neither of them understood that being a Draconian _was_ different.

Allen exhaled, a short sigh. “My old master. The best master anyone ever could have had.” Quietly, he added, “I miss him so much.”

“I miss him, too,” Van said. He could feel Hitomi’s sympathetic gaze. He still didn’t have the heart to tell Allen the truth about what had happened to Balgus. He had still barely accepted it himself.

They were all quiet for a moment. Allen shifted uncomfortably, as if he knew what the disconcerting silence meant. Then he began to hum the song again, and Van closed his eyes and saw Fanelia burning, Balgus falling to the ground, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, dying.


	4. Chapter 4

Three days passed, during which Van used the last of his energy, supported by Hitomi, to trek through the woods. Just as the village came into view, Escaflowne collapsed at the edge of the trees, unceremoniously ejecting Van from its cockpit.

“Van!” Hitomi immediately rushed down from Escaflowne’s shoulder to check on him. He hadn’t thrown up a second time, but his fever hadn’t gone down, either. The wound was bruised, though it seemed to be healing best of all. His rash, however, had gotten worse. Because he’d scratched it so much, it was red and irritated, raw with scabs. Hopefully it hadn’t become infected.

Allen knelt beside her. “Is he still breathing?”

She put a hand in front of his face. Faint, but definite breath from his nose. “Yes, he’s breathing.” She placed two fingers at the base of his jaw to check his pulse. Weak, but there.

“And you’re fine?”

“Just tired, that’s all. Nothing’s wrong with me.” She turned to look toward the village before them. It was a quaint mountain village, but large enough to have street-like paths and a small town square with a market. They could definitely find a doctor here.

She reached under Van’s arms and began to lift him. “Could you please help me carry him?”

“No, Hitomi, wait just a moment.”

“We can’t wait! He just passed out! It’s been three days, and he needs help right now!”

“Van needs help, yes. But remember, we’re still being hunted. What if this village is still part of Zaibach? We can’t afford to risk anything, especially not when Van is so vulnerable.”

“Then what do you think we should do? Wait until night?”

“Waiting that long is out of the question. But we’ll stand out too much in the daytime, especially you in your Mystic Moon clothes.”

Hitomi frowned. Everyone always felt the need to constantly remind her how much her clothes and her short hair “stood out.” “Well, we can’t do anything about it! What kind of disguises could we make out of the clothes that we have?”

“Well… Van’s small enough that his clothes would fit you.”

She wrinkled her nose. Van was rank with sweat, his shirt still soaked from sitting in the cockpit. “Wouldn’t they recognize the outfit?” she said, thinking less of practicality and more about how she could get out of wearing Van’s smelly clothes.

“Yes, but you also can’t wear your coat over his red shirt because they’d recognize that, too…”

“I have a better idea.” Taking off her coat, she pointed to her white button-down shirt. “I’ll leave the coat behind, keep this shirt on, and put on Van’s pants and boots.”

“That’s a great idea. I’ll see what I can come up with.”

“Okay. Let me know when you’re done changing.”

She stood up and waited as Allen took Van’s boots and stockings off, unbuckled his sword belt and put his sword aside, then pulled his pants off, leaving him lying there in his red shirt, still missing its laces, and a tan pair of loose, knee-length underwear. Hitomi stood behind Escaflowne’s cape and put on the pants and boots—the socks reeked, and she wasn’t going to wear those. After a couple more minutes, Allen called her name, and she walked back around to the front of Escaflowne.

She was about to ask if her disguise would work, but she was surprised to see that Van’s shirt lay on the ground, torn into two halves. Allen placed one of the halves on top of his head and mimed tying it back. “So that they can’t see our heads from above,” he explained. Then he got to his feet, and she looked at his disguise.

He was wearing his uniform shirt over the jumpsuit, the shirt’s long tails hiding the toggles. His sword belt, and the weight of the sword, held the shirttails in place. The uniform skirt lay on the ground at his feet. He’d cut the collar off, too; sleeveless, collarless, unwashed, and ripped in several places, it was unrecognizable as his uniform shirt. His face was dirty, his hair unkempt; they hadn’t bathed in two days.

“Not bad for impromptu disguises.” He grinned.

Even with the shirt covering up the toggles on his uniform, the ornamental pieces like the skirt, gauntlets, gloves, and neckerchief put aside, and his hair a bit mussed up, he still looked very Allen-like. It was the hair, of course: unmistakable, beautiful, blond.

“I know,” Allen said before she had a chance to think about a polite way to say it. “The hair. It’ll stick out even after we put the bandannas on. Could you please braid it for me?”

Her heart skipped. “Really?” He was going to let her touch his beautiful long blonde hair? She’d always wondered what it felt like. She imagined that it was soft and silky, even unwashed like this.

“Yes.” He turned around and stooped down, and she knelt after him. “Please, go ahead.”

She started by dividing it into three sections. Braiding such thick hair was difficult, and his bangs were sticking out a bit in the front. Also, his hairline—his father’s—was recognizable and would have to be hidden. So she started a French braid, As she picked up pieces of hair to weave into the braid, her nails scraped and brushed the side of his head. She was afraid it might hurt or annoy him, but he hummed peacefully, and she blushed.

“You keep your hair so short,” he said. “Don’t you like having long hair?”

“When I was little, I had longer hair, but it just gets in the way when I’m running.” Besides, she liked her short hair. It was easy to wash, and she didn’t have to style it or worry about tying it back.

“I suppose it is a tad heavy. But I’m used to it.”

“How long did it take to grow it?”

“Five years,” he said without any hesitation.

“All of this in five years?!”

“Well, it wasn’t that short to begin with. It was cut to my chin when I first joined the Knights Caeli.”

She recalled the vision she’d had in Freid when she was telling Chid’s fortune. A younger Allen with short hair, embraced by a woman who strongly resembled Millerna.

“Have you always had long hair?”

“I’ve only ever had it cut once in my life.”

She attempted to picture Amano with hair the length of Allen’s, but it was too absurd to even imagine. How could anyone do anything athletic with hair like this? Tied back in a braid or ponytail, she could understand, but she had _never_ seen Allen tie his hair back, and it was past his waist.

“Done,” she said, pinching the end of the braid between her fingers and thumb. “I just need something to tie it with.”

“How about the bow on your shirt?”

“Good idea.” She loosened it from her collar and flattened it out, using it to tie off Allen’s braid. Then she stood up, brushing off the pants. Allen stood up after her with Van’s sword belt in hand, which he buckled on his waist above his own sword belt, moving Van’s sword behind his.

Then she remembered her own short hair. “What about my hair? What if somebody asks about it?”

Allen thought for a moment, then said, “Tell them that short hair on women is the latest Egzardian trend.”

“Egzardian?” The word felt awkward in her mouth.

“Egzardia is a nearby country. It and Zaibach are on neutral terms, so there’s no need to worry about bringing it up.”

“All right.”

“But we’re not quite ready yet. We have our disguises; now we need fake names. Can you give us all Mystic Moon names?”

Well, that was easy enough—she’d just use her grandmother’s. And she had one lined up for Allen already.

“Yuri,” she pointed to herself, then to Allen, “Susumu,” and, after a few seconds of thought, to Van, “Yuki.”

“‘Yuki’ and ‘Yuri’ are too close. I might confuse them. Is there another name you can use for yourself or Van?”

She could use her mother’s name, of course. “Sakiko.”

“Yuki, Susumu, Sakiko.” He quietly repeated the names to himself a few times.

Hearing the names made her heart twinge with nostalgia. She hoped her family and friends were all right, and she hoped she would make it back to Earth someday. No, she _knew_ she would return. But she needed to stay just a little longer with Allen and Van. She at least had to see that Van recovered and that they all returned to Palas safely.

She wasn’t sure why, or how, but the two had become so important to her, just as important as her mother, Yukari, and Amano, not any more or not any less.

Allen knelt back down to pick up Van, and they started toward the town, leaving the woods and Escaflowne behind.

—

In a large house on the edge of the town, they found an old widowed doctor named Magda who let them stay with her while she took care of Van. Her children and grandchildren were living in town, but she’d never left her original house. She had two empty bedrooms, one with two small beds and another with a single bed for one. Since the single bed had been right at the top of the short staircase, they’d dropped Van off there, and Allen and Hitomi ended up sharing the room with two beds. Magda kept a few extra outfits for when her grandchildren visited, so she lent them pajamas and new outfits for tomorrow.

That night, after the old woman had rubbed salve into Van’s shoulder and they had all gone to bed, Hitomi was awoken by an unpleasant feeling. She rolled over and saw that Allen was missing from his bed. In Van’s room, Allen sat beside Van’s bed in one of the chairs Magda had brought upstairs for them, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Van was thrashing around in bed, the covers spiraling around him, whimpering and grunting. Agony contorted on his face, and his cheeks were almost maroon, sweat shining on his skin; the night air from the window Allen had cracked was probably doing little to cool him down.

Hitomi ran to the side of the bed, leaning over him and shaking him. “Wake up, Van! It’s just a dream!”

“I tried that for half an hour,” Allen said. “No good.”

“That’s horrible…” Van shouldn’t have to suffer through nightmares, not when he was already so sick. He mentioned having had a nightmare on the morning he threw up. Was that what had started his fever? Was he dreaming of fighting off the wolves, or fighting off Guymelefs? Or of what had happened on the plains, before Escaflowne had been engulfed in shadows?

“This is too horrible,” she repeated, sinking to the chair beside Allen and burying her face in her hands. “Nightmares shouldn’t even exist. I hate having nightmares!”

Van continued to writhe in pain as both she and Allen fell silent.

Then Allen said, “He had terrible nightmares after we left Freid.”

Hitomi gasped. “He did? How do you know that?”

“I don’t always sleep through the night. Sometimes when I wake up, I’ll go out on the deck of the _Crusade_ and watch the stars. A few nights after we left Freid, he staggered out there and leaned over the railing like he was going to get sick. We stood there without speaking, and after about fifteen or twenty minutes, he went back to bed. It happened two other times. I think he was a little embarrassed the first time because he wasn’t expecting me, but then he seemed glad to see me after that.”

“You never asked him what was wrong?”

Allen’s expression hardened, and he turned to face her. “I didn’t have to ask. I knew.”

Hitomi lowered her head. She remembered her conversation with Allen in the days after what had happened on the plains, when he’d told her not to worry about Van. She couldn’t imagine not asking what was wrong, but she knew that it might make Van angry if she asked. Allen had probably picked up on that too. Still, that didn’t mean Allen should have just _stood_ there.

“Maybe you can just sit there and watch, but I’m not going to.” She moved her chair over to the other side of the bed and grabbed onto Van’s hand, enfolding it in hers. His fingers were trembling, his palms sweating profusely. “Anyway, he can’t see us right now. But he might be able to feel us.”

Allen looked across the bed at her, then he reached for Van’s hand and held onto it, his eyes on Van’s writhing form, his mouth in a thin line as if Van’s pain was testing him as much as it was her.

“You don’t have to, Hitomi,” he said gently. “I’ll stay with him. You can rest.”

“No. I’m not going to leave him alone. I’m going to stay with him all night.”

Allen gave her a weary smile and pulled his chair forward, his eyes fixed on Van. After about ten minutes, Van’s breathing evened, his hands stopped trembling, and he stopped thrashing around. By then, Hitomi had already closed her eyes and fallen asleep in her chair.

—

The first thing of which he was conscious was that the bed was firm and stiff. The first part of his body to hurt was his spine. He remembered a stinging pain in his shoulder, and went to touch it, and found that his hands were bare of their usual gloves. His shoulder didn’t feel at all like it had whenever he’d fallen unconscious. It had started to burn, itching with the rash and the insect bites, which he’d gotten after they’d mistakenly slept near a lake a couple days ago. And what had happened to the wound?

His eyes still closed, he tried sitting up, but found that he didn’t have the strength. Removing his hand from his shoulder, he attempted to open his eyes.

“Excuse me, madam? He’s waking up.” Allen’s voice.

Footsteps shuffling. A cold, wrinkled hand against his forehead. “His fever has finally gone down,” an unfamiliar voice said, a deep, elderly woman’s voice. “And his rash is much improved. I’ll make more salve.” Shuffling again, as if the old woman had left the bedside.

“Yuki’s waking up?” Hitomi’s voice from further away, but why had she said “Yuki”? He had to keep trying to open his eyes, but his eyelids were so heavy, and he just wanted to go back to sleep. If his eyes wouldn’t open, maybe he could say something instead.

“Hito—”

“Quiet!” Allen hissed through his teeth.

At last, Van forced his eyes open. That was definitely Allen sitting next to him, though his torn-up uniform shirt and jumpsuit had been replaced by a loose green shirt and black pants. Hitomi was wearing a dress, a shapeless, light purple one that came to her knees, similar to the type of dresses common people wore in Fanelia. Country clothes. Their faces looked clean; Allen’s hair was damp, and he smelled soap and oatmeal. He touched his own chest. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. And his knees were bare. All he had on was his braies.

“Hey, where are my cl—”

Allen shushed Van again. He looked over his shoulder toward the doorway, then sighed in relief.

“Good thing she didn’t hear.”

“Where are my clothes?” Van finished.

“We used your clothes for our disguises when we went into town. Magda offered her grandchildren’s clothes for our use while she washes ours.”

“You guys smell good.”

Hitomi smiled, blushing a little. “We took baths this morning. If you feel up to it, you can get up and take a bath, too.”

Van moved to sit up, supporting himself against the bed with his elbows. Though he was still weak, it was more because he was so hungry, thirsty and tired, and not because he had a fever. In fact, the fever was completely gone.

“Why did you call me Yuki?”

“For now, I’m Susumu, she’s Sakiko, you’re Yuki,” Allen said. “Just remember that, okay?”

Fake names? “Are we in—”

“I don’t know, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

“What about my sword? And what about Escaflowne? Where are they?”

“Your sword’s over there.” Allen pointed to the corner of the room. “And as for Escaflowne, it’s right at the edge of the woods where we left it.”

Vague memories of reaching the end of the trees resurfaced. They were foggy; he must have been exhausted.

“What happened to me? How long was I out?”

“Two days. You fell unconscious from exhaustion, and we got you here just in time.” Allen’s face fell. “Your fever broke overnight the first night, and…”

“You were having horrible nightmares,” Hitomi continued. “We stayed up with you all night.”

Nightmares? He couldn’t remember anything of the last two days. He must have really been in a deep sleep.

“But what caused my fever? Did… Magda figure it out?”

Allen scratched the back of his head. “She didn’t say what she thought caused it; she just treated it. He paused, then added, “I think it was mostly exhaustion and stress, though your wound or rash could have been infected.”

“More importantly, you’re better now,” Hitomi said. “I was so scared.”

“I was, too.” Allen sounded unafraid to admit it. “We had no idea what was wrong with you. We just wanted to get you to a doctor, and I’m so relieved that we did.”

“You’re almost completely healed now,” Hitomi said cheerfully.

Van turned his head to look his shoulder, but it was difficult to see, and his neck was stiff.

“Here, there’s a mirror over there.” Hitomi walked across the room, and then came back with a mirror in hand, turning it horizontally so that Van could see his reflection.

How long had it been since he’d gotten a proper look at himself? He’d never been vain at all, and had never really been concerned about his appearance. His face looked thin, his hair matted with sweat, dark circles under his eyes. His shoulder was covered with scabs from insect bites, and the parts of his rash that he’d scratched were red, raw, and blistered, all of it coated in a thin shiny layer of what he assumed was the salve the old woman had made. He watched himself blinking, staring at the scabs and blisters, at the ugly purple bruise from the wolf’s bite.

“I look like shit,” he said.

Hitomi frowned, as if to say, “Don’t say that,” but she remained silent, holding the mirror steady.

Allen set a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t feel like it, though, do you?”

There were plenty of times in his life when he had felt worse than he did now. When Folken had disappeared, and then Mother. After they’d left Freid, after—that. But at least when Folken and Mother had disappeared, he’d still had Balgus and Merle and his own bed to sleep in, and food and clean water and books to read. At least they’d always had something to eat on the _Crusade_ , and the hangar so that Escaflowne was safe from Zaibach, and seven other people to help protect them if anything went wrong.

On the road like this, everything was uncertain: whether they would be safe or in danger; whether they’d have more than meager portions of food for the night; where they would take shelter; what the weather was going to be. So, yes, considering how worn and haggard he looked, his shoulder sore and bruised like his pride, clueless about what would happen next, he could very well say that he felt like shit.

But he didn’t say it. Because he didn’t feel that way.

“Are you all right, Van?” Allen said, looking down at him.

Van continued to stare at his reflection. “I’ll be fine. As long as you two are here, I’ll be fine.”

—

“Hitomi?” came Allen’s voice from across the room, while she lay in bed still awake, worrying about Van as always.

With quickly he was improving, they would be able to leave as soon as tomorrow. His bite wound was healing, his rash was beginning to fade, and the lotion must have been working because he’d stopped scratching his shoulder. Magda’s grandson’s clothes fit him well; he’d elected for a long-sleeved tan shirt and tan pants—bland but comfortable like the clothes she and Allen wore. He had drunk all of his broth at lunch, had plenty of water, and he had even gotten out of bed to sit at the table and eat dinner—regular solid food—with her and Allen. They had gone for a walk outside the old woman’s home after dinner, and Van had been steady on both of his legs. He’d taken a bath, and he’d gone to sleep quickly with no nightmares.

But, still, she worried. About Van and about whether Escaflowne was safe, even though she knew it was. But not for long—Zaibach would eventually catch up. Something would happen. Something always happened.

“I’m awake. What is it?”

“Small towns like this one usually have a night market. I want to go and get gifts for Van.”

“That’s so nice of you. Do you have any money?”

“Not with me.”

“I guess you can’t get gifts then.”

“Magda probably has some money hidden under her bed. I could just sneak in her room and check.”

Hitomi gasped. “How could you do that?” She rolled over to face Allen’s bed. He was lying on his back staring at the ceiling, hands laced together on top of his stomach. “Stealing someone’s money is a terrible thing. You can’t really mean to do that!”

“The other option would be to steal from the vendors at the market. If we got caught there, it would be a bit more dangerous. But she’s less likely to suspect us, and if she loses a little money, she probably won’t notice. People will also dismiss her accusations because she’s so old, so there’s a lot less risk.”

“You would really steal from someone just to give Van a gift?”

Allen furrowed his brow slightly. “Hitomi, I hate for you to have to hear it, but I’m not the honorable person you think I am. When I was a child, I ran away from home and became part of a group of juvenile delinquents—in other words, bandits. I stole from the elderly, I stole from other children, I stole from people far poorer than me, and I thought nothing of any of it.” He fell quiet.

Allen had been a thief? It was hard to believe someone so noble and kind would have ever stooped to crime. But his childhood had been sad; he had lost his entire family. He must have been desperate for company, for something, anything, to do.

Allen interrupted her thoughts. “Van has had a hard time lately, and I just want to show him that we’re still there for him.”

The idea was nice enough. But Van didn’t seem like much of a gift person. She would be remiss not to notice how much Van enjoyed physical contact, like on the night when they had kept him warm underneath Escaflowne’s wing, and how he had relaxed when they’d held his hands during his nightmares, and talking, like when she and Van had told each other about their families, and their discussion about books.

“Then give him a hug when he wakes up tomorrow,” she said.

“Huh? Why’s that?”

“The best gift of all is our presence. He wants us to be close to him and talk to him. I think that makes him happier than anything.”

Allen hummed, thinking. “You’re right, I won’t deny that. But did you notice how overjoyed he was to have a proper meal? And how much enthusiasm he had for his childhood books? And how eager he always is to make fires for us?”

Allen was right. Those things had made Van smile, too. And there was one other thing. Just before Van had fallen asleep, Allen had suggested they could go to a tavern tomorrow evening, and Van had mumbled that a drink would be nice. She had been surprised he’d said that, because he’d barely touched his wine when they were in Palas, though he had been a bit on edge that evening because of King Aston’s unfair “test.”

“We don’t have to steal if you don’t want to,” Allen said. “I know not everyone is comfortable with it. We can just take him to the tavern like I said about doing.”

“No, let’s do it.” She might never get this chance in her life again. And she liked the idea of getting to spend time with Allen, too.

Allen left the room to give her privacy, and they each got changed. When he returned, she braided his hair quickly, and they tied the Van’s-shirt bandannas over their heads. They got a bag from the closet and snuck out through the window of the old woman’s home, making their way toward the town square.

At the market, humans and beastpeople milled about in front of stands. The crowd was thick with the smells of sweat, alcohol, and perfumes; spiced incense, sugary baked goods, and cooked meat and vegetables mingled in the air, creating a cocktail of scents both foreign and familiar. Men struck each other on the shoulder or back as greeting, gruff laughter ringing in the air; women twittered like songbirds as children pulled at their dresses or sat cradled in their arms with thumbs in their mouths. Candles burned in open windows and lights were strung from the clay houses, the moon and Earth lighting up the streets. The general atmosphere was reminiscent of a summer festival, and if she closed her eyes, she might be able to picture herself back in Kamakura or Tokyo.

Sometimes it was easy to fool herself into thinking of Gaea as home. And maybe it could be, with Allen and Van by her side, if it weren’t for Earth hanging overhead.

Allen explained to her that the easiest way to get things free was to pretend to be a beggar. If you emphasized your lack of money and luck, many of the weaker-hearted people, or those selling cheaper goods, would give you something for free. They got a couple cups of cider and a small piece of cake, the latter of which Allen let Hitomi have, for their efforts. The cider was warm, sweet with a bitter tang, sort of like a mix of apple cider and tea. The cake was soft and sweet even without icing.

While she was browsing a jewelry stand, Allen disappeared into the crowds. When he returned, he opened the bag at his waist to show her a glass bottle full of pink liquid. She turned away from the stand and told Allen that she wanted the brown bracelet with silver beads for Van. Leaning forward on the table, Allen chatted up the vendor. Once the vendor’s eyes were locked perfectly with Allen’s, he knocked the bracelet down with his other hand, and Hitomi, hiding under the table, swiped it and put it in the bag. She stood back up when Allen gave her the signal under the table, looking around as if nothing had happened. The vendor was too captivated by Allen to notice.

“You’re a natural,” Allen said as they walked through the crowds. “I didn’t think we’d pull that one off. That method was a lot easier when I was much shorter.”

“Thank you.” Hitomi lowered her head to hide her blush. He didn’t have to compliment _her_ ; his flirting had won them the bracelet. Even though stealing was rebellious and certainly not something Hitomi would do back on Earth, it gave her a guilty thrill. Maybe that was why Allen had done it as a child.

“Hey,” she said as they passed a stand manned by a beastman, a bear with folded arms, “look at all those books!”

Allen walked up to the stand and browsed alongside her. He recognized many of the titles, drawing her attention to one in particular. On the cover, a swordsman in fancy dress clashed with a ruffian in torn clothes.

“ _The Fanelian Rogue and the Asturian Knight_ ,” Allen told her. “Van’s favorite.” He opened the book. “Oh, look! It’s even got the original watercolor illustrations, and a side-by-side translation into modern Gaean. When I was young, I read the Asturian-Fanelian side-by-side edition. This is probably the first Gaean edition.”

Fanelian and Asturian? There were other languages on Gaea? To her, everyone sounded like they were speaking Japanese. She didn’t really notice any differences in their voices, except that the Mole Man and Gaddes seemed to have country accents, and anyone who was royalty, particularly Millerna and her sister Eries, spoke more formally. She didn’t understand any of the books, except for their pictures. She looked elsewhere on the table.

Her eye was caught by a blank notebook with a pen strapped to its spine. It was a simple brown hardcover, small enough that Van would be able to fit it in the palm of his hand and write down whatever he wanted, his memories and the daily happenings he didn’t want to forget. She had never been much of a diary keeper herself, but Yukari had kept a diary for a couple years. She wondered if Van might like to keep one, too.

“Excuse me, how much is…” she started to say, looking up, but just as she did, Allen lifted his head to ask the same thing, and their eyes were both caught by what was sitting on the gruff vendor’s left shoulder. An owl, a puffy, white and brown feathered thing with a heart-shaped face and wide black eyes.

Allen made a very un-Allen-like sound. “Oh, aren’t you a beauty!” he gushed.

The vendor smiled and lifted his arm slightly. The owl didn’t make any move to hop onto the vendor’s arm, but Allen leaned forward and scratched the owl under the chin, petting its head and making motherly clicking noises with his tongue. Hitomi felt a little embarrassed, but she couldn’t help but find it cute that Allen was freaking out over the owl. He must miss his own pet.

“What a sweetie,” Allen crooned. “What’s its name?”

“Her name’s Lavinia.”

“Oh, after Lavinia Lamore, the lady-in-waiting from _The Disheartened Princess_? Yes, you’re gorgeous just like her, aren’t you?” He squished the owl’s face, scratching its belly with the tips of his fingers. The owl looked a little frightened to be touched by somebody other than her master, especially someone so overbearing. Allen’s owl was so loyal, she figured this owl must be the same way too.

“Um…” Hitomi nudged Allen. “All—uh, Susumu?”

Allen turned to face her. “Yes?” Then he withdrew his hand, his ears reddening, standing upright. “Sorry, I got distracted…”

She gestured sideways with her eyes and eyebrows. They stepped away from the stand, turning their back to it.

“What is it?” Allen said.

“I found something I want for Van. I have an idea.”

“Go on.”

“It’s a plain brown journal on the right side of the table.”

“The knockdown method’s not going to work; it’s going to make a noise. We’ll have to think of something else.”

“I said I had an idea.”

“Tell me.”

She leaned up to his ear. He bent down and she whispered, “Look at the books, and I’ll talk to him and ask about his owl. I pretend to get bit by the owl. While he looks at my hand, you get the books.”

“Good plan. Let’s give it a try.”

Hitomi waltzed up to the stand and started petting the owl. She got her fingers near its beak and pretended to get bit. The vendor leaned his head down and stared at her hand, and she continued to say, “it hurts, it hurts a lot” to buy Allen time. Allen came up behind her, asked what was wrong, and she showed her thumb. They walked away from the stand and into the crowd.

Barely a minute passed before the vendor shouted, “THIEVES!”

Hitomi’s stomach plummeted. They’d been caught!

Allen cursed under his breath. “Run!”

They pushed their way through the throngs of people, bending their heads down to try and blend in. People were turning left and right, and somebody else was running the opposite direction—guess they weren’t the only thieves. As they reached the edge of town, the crowds and noise thinned, the glow of candles and lanterns replaced by the shimmer of the moon and Earth. They ducked into an alley between two houses, standing with their backs flat against the dim walls, breathing heavily. The person who’d been sent after them ran a couple meters past them. After a few minutes, which felt like an eternity, the person said, “We lost them,” threw their hands up, and walked right past the alley.

“Now!”

On Allen’s command, they sprinted out of the alley and ran across the grass until they reached the house, throwing themselves inside the open window, Allen quickly closing it behind them, Hitomi bracing herself on her bed with both hands, breathing from the exertion.

When she’d caught her breath, she turned around to see Allen sitting cross-legged on his bed with the bag in his lap, wiping his forehead with his shirt.

“Did you get both of them?” she asked, still catching her breath as she walked over to him.

He reached in the bag and held up the first book he’d showed her, the one he’d said was Van’s favorite, then held up the journal.

“Great!”

“One problem.” He pointed to the pen on the spine of the journal. “No ink.”

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Ink! How could I forget ink?”

“It’s fine. We’ll just ask Magda to lend us some.”

She removed her hands from her face and watched Allen put away the books. “Thanks for teaching me how to steal.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever have a reason to use what I learned, but it was fun.”

Allen shrugged. “You never know.”

He lifted his head, and their eyes locked.

“Hitomi, I think I…” he started to say, leaning slightly toward her.

“Huh?” She stepped back. His eyes were shining. He reminded her so much of Amano, not his face but the look on it. She’d also seen that same odd look on Van’s face at times, that look as if he was about to tell her something important yet difficult.

“Um—” He sat back down. “Never mind. I shouldn’t… I’m just going to go to sleep. Good night.”

 _Shouldn’t what?_ she wondered, placing her hands on her arms, noting the sudden vulnerability in his voice. What had he been trying to say? What was he thinking? She wanted to know, but if he wasn’t ready, she couldn’t force him. He was like Van in that way—you had to wait until he was ready. She wondered if he would ever get a chance to say it.


	5. Chapter 5

Early the next morning, Van woke up to the smell of bread baking. His mouth already watering, he got out of bed and put on his freshly-washed pants, stockings, and the tan long-sleeved shirt Magda had lent him. Taking a quick glance at his shoulder, he noticed that his rash was almost gone, only the scabs remained. He felt almost totally normal now, rejuvenated and full of energy. He would tell Hitomi and Allen that he was ready to go.

But when he opened the door, they were standing right there.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Sit back down. We have some things for you,” Hitomi said.

“Okay.” He walked back over to the bed and waited for them to pull their chairs over, thinking about the fresh bread on the table. He hoped whatever it was wouldn’t take too long. Wait, things for _him_? As in gifts? When would they have gotten those? Had he slept that late?

“The first two are from me,” Allen said, reaching in the bag sitting in his lap. First, he handed Van a glass bottle with a pink liquid inside.

Van tried to read the label, but it was written in a language he didn’t recognize. “What is it?” he asked.

“Remember those fruits we drank? Those are called arbuz; they’re native to Zaibach. This wine is made with them, and it’s supposed to be very sweet.”

“This sounds great. Can’t wait to try it.” He set the bottle on his nightstand and smiled at Allen. “And you had something else for me?”

Allen reached back in the bag and handed him a thick book. Van accepted it. Immediately, he recognized the cover.

“ _The Fanelian Rogue and the Asturian Knight_!” He couldn’t stop the grin from coming to his face. “You remembered!” His old copy had probably burned with Fanelia, so it would be nice to have a new one. He paged through and noticed the words were in Gaean, with a thinner script next to it that resembled Gaean but wasn’t entirely the same. He had read the Fanelian-Asturian side-by-side edition as a child, and, knowing it had originally been written in Middle High Gaean, he supposed the Gaean translation would be closer to the original, though not to his memories. The illustrations, though, were just like the ones he remembered from his childhood.

He lifted his head to meet Allen’s eyes. “It’s wonderful.” He had never said anything to Allen in Fanelian, and didn’t know how well he understood it, but, overcome with emotions and knowing the topic of the book, he had to express his gratitude in his own language. “Obrigado.”

Allen smiled widely. “De nada, meu amigo.”

Van’s heart leapt up. Allen had not yet called him his friend, and hearing the word in Fanelian made him even happier.

Then Allen nodded at Hitomi. “Your turn.”

She reached into the bag and pulled out a brown leather bracelet, a thin strip with black and silver beads on it. In the middle hung a tiny charm in the shape of a dragon. He laughed at that, a short “heh,” and saw that Hitomi was smiling nervously.

“I like it a lot.” Van slipped it over his left hand, noticing how well it fit around his wrist. “This is great.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Hitomi said quietly, then she reached into the bag again and handed him another book. This book was smaller, with a brown cover and a pen hanging on a string attached to it.

He opened it and found it was blank.

“It’s a journal,” she explained, still sounding a bit nervous. “So that you can write all about our adventures, and then look back on them later.”

Staring at the blank pages, he thought about the past week, or however long it had been: landing in the forest, sleeping under Escaflowne in the rain, looking for water with Hitomi, talking to Allen about family, going swimming in the lake, the wolves’ attack and his illness, trekking through the forest with Escaflowne, falling asleep to the sound of “Dragon Bride,” whistling to find Allen and Hitomi, talking about Balgus, coming here and being nursed back to health. Their adventures would end, eventually. But somehow, he didn’t want to return to safety and certainty, didn’t want to go back to Asturia. This journal was the only way he could capture these things while they were still happening, freezing them in time forever.

“We’ll have to get you some ink so you can write,” Allen said. “We forgot the ink.”

“The old woman should have some,” Hitomi added.

“I’ll do it before we leave,” Van said. “Thank you, you two.”

“You’re welcome,” they each said.

They smiled briefly at each other and stood up, walking up to him. Allen wrapped his arms around Van’s shoulders first, then Hitomi, each leaning their head on his shoulder. The hug only lasted a few seconds, but he felt his heart soaring as if he were flying, his stomach doing backflips. Was he that desperate for touch? They were so warm, and they were smiling. He was smiling, too. It made him feel safe, happy, like a child. When they broke away, his face was luminescent, and they giggled and left the room, whispering things he couldn’t hear even if he had been paying attention. Friends. His _friends_. His friends who gave him gifts and gave him hugs and took care of him. Friends he would take care of, too, going as far as dying for them if he needed to.

After breakfast, Magda gave him ink, and he sat at the desk in his room and wrote for two hours.

—

Having finished writing, Van was sitting on the edge of the bed inspecting the container of wine when somebody knocked on his door, urgently and repetitively.

“Get out here! Now!” Allen shouted.

Van grabbed the journal and the pen, the book, and the wine and threw open the door. Allen had changed into his jumpsuit, wearing the remains of his torn-up uniform shirt over the green shirt, his sword belt on his waist, the bag in which he’d stored the gifts slung over his shoulder. Stress lined his face.

“They’re coming,” he whispered. Seeing the gifts in Van’s arms, he held open the bag, and Van dropped them in. “We have to get to Escaflowne right now.”

“What?! How did they find us?”

“I don’t know, but they’re not here yet. Hitomi says they’re coming, and if she says they’re coming, then we have to leave.”

Van pulled his boots on and buckled his sword belt, then put on his gloves, and they ran downstairs, where Hitomi was already waiting at the door, worrying her pendant between her fingers. She had put her white uniform shirt back on, tying the bow around the collar, with the purple dress on over top of it. He didn’t have time to think about how cute that outfit was.

They bid goodbye to and thanked Magda—who pushed a loaf of bread in a brown bag into Allen’s arms before he could pretend that the bag was too full—and threw open the door, dashing across the field toward Escaflowne. It was right where they’d left it, Hitomi and Allen’s extra clothes lying at its feet. Allen picked up his leftover clothes and Hitomi’s uniform and stuffed them in the bag, and was about to put her sneakers in there until she wrenched them away and put them on in place of the oversized clogs from Magda’s granddaughter. Van took the bag from Allen, put it in the cockpit beneath the seat, and closed the visor, then shifted Escaflowne back into its dragon form, Allen and Hitomi climbing on after him. Just as Van lifted off, Hitomi cried, “They’re here!”

The pendant resonated within his mind. He looked over his shoulder. Sure enough, a squad of five Zaibach Guymelefs were trailing them. Van faced front and started north without even asking Hitomi which direction to go.

“How did they even find us?!” he shouted, watching the trees pass by, the pendant ticking uneasily in his head.

“They must have seen Escaflowne,” Allen said. “You can’t hide a huge white Guymelef forever.”

“You think there were spies in this town? How did they even get a lead on us?”

“The wolves,” Hitomi said.

“What do you mean the wolves?” Van cried. “How could it have been the wolves? That was days ago!”

“I don’t know. They had those weird collars on. I think they were tracking devices!”

Van groaned. “Tracking devices? I don’t even remember _seeing_ collars! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think that my hunch was right!”

“Well, usually it is, so maybe you should have spoken up!”

“I was too worried about _you_! You were sick, and, and…”

“And _what_?”

“Enough!” Allen interrupted. “Focus on flying! The more you two argue, the more likely it becomes that they’ll catch up!”

“Whatever!” Van clenched his fists and continued due north. Hitomi hadn’t given him any direction, so his instinct was to head toward the water. Though it was early afternoon, fog was gathering some distance ahead where the forested valleys gave way to the water. If he could get to that fog, it would be easy to lose their pursuers. They would worry about finding their way back to Asturia later.

“Why are you going toward the ocean?” Hitomi cried. “There’s a storm there! You’re going to get caught in it!”

“I’m not going to let Zaibach get Escaflowne, and I’ll do whatever it takes!” Van tightened his grip on Escaflowne’s reins further. The dragon charm on the bracelet Hitomi had given him was hitting his wrist, the laces of his shirt flying in his face, his hair blown back by the intensifying wind. Up in the air, it was much colder than being in bed wrapped in blankets—he was glad he was wearing long sleeves—but he couldn’t think about warmth and safety. For now, all they needed was to survive.

They flew for about twenty minutes, the Guymelefs right behind them but never seeming to catch up to them, before they disappeared from his sight completely and the pendant fell silent. It wasn’t as foggy as it had been, but he noticed that the wind was starting to pick up, and it was becoming difficult to control Escaflowne.

“Can’t you turn around?” came Hitomi’s worried voice.

“Why would I do that? I’m not going back the way we came. We just barely escaped.”

“The sky is getting dark,” Hitomi said. “I don’t like our chances if we keep going this way.”

“Then tell me which way to go.”

“Turning around is the safest way.”

“I am _not_ turning around!”

“Fine, then don’t turn around! Just do whatever you want!”

“As long as they could possibly be back there, I’m going north!”

“Go ahead, fly straight into the storm! See if I care!”

“Stop it, you two!” Allen interrupted them again. “Pick a direction already!”

“I’m going north until we lose them for good, and besides, I’m Escaflowne’s pilot, so I get to decide where it goes!”

“No, it’s fine! It’s totally fine! I get it, you don’t care what I have to think!”

“Hitomi, Van is just trying to do what’s best for all of us. Could you please calm down and leave him alone?”

“He’s not doing what’s best, because he’s not listening to me, and I _know_ something bad is going to happen if we don’t turn around!”

Van was about to retort that something equally bad would happen if he _did_ turn around, but he didn’t say anything. There was no use in arguing with Hitomi, because he couldn’t change her mind. Never mind that he’d never flown Escaflowne through a storm before and didn’t know if they could make it. But it would still be preferable to letting Zaibach have Escaflowne or his friends. So he kept flying.

—

Half an hour after their argument had died and left them in tense silence, thunder boomed and the heavens burst. The heavy rain began to pile up in small puddles on Escaflowne’s wings. Wet wings made it hard to fly, Van knew that much, and the powerful wind wasn’t helping matters either.

“Hold on!” he shouted, struggling to keep Escaflowne aloft amid the turbulent gusts. Allen was clinging to Escaflowne’s torso, and Hitomi was clinging to Allen.

Then a lightning bolt cracked, hitting one of Escaflowne’s wings. The dragon convulsed—catapulting them off of its back and into the air in three different directions—and dropped lifeless as a stone into the water below. He caught a glimpse of Hitomi and Allen, then lost sight of them as he plummeted into the ocean.

Waves crashed around him, sheets of rain pouring from the sky. He bobbed up to the surface, but never for more than a few seconds before he went back underwater, wind, rain, and saltwater swirling around him. He tried to push the water aside, swimming with deep, deliberate strokes, but he might as well have been doggy paddling. The waves threw him around, tossing him back and forth and around in circles, and he kept swallowing and choking on saltwater as it flew up his nose and clogged his ears.

Gasping for breath, he kept repeating their names. “Hitomi, Allen.” He could barely speak, let alone hear himself over the thunderclaps ringing in his ears. In such a dark and violent storm, it would be easy to give up. But he wasn’t going to give up. Never.

He began to shout as loud as he could until his throat became raw. “Hitomi! Allen!” He had never been so soaked in his life. His breaths were scant, and floaters started to appear in his vision. He couldn’t let the water win. He had to find Escaflowne, find his friends. “Hitomi! Allen!” he yelled and yelled, struggling against the waves, sinking underwater when they came up over his head, fighting to the surface long enough to call out for them again, trying and failing to see anything through the thick sheets of rain.

The bottle of wine was most likely broken, the book and the journal most likely soaked. But even if he’d spent two hours writing it all down for naught, he knew he hadn’t spent those days with them for naught. He refused to believe that they had drowned. They were probably calling for him, too. So he kept yelling. “Hitomi! Allen!” Yelling and yelling until his voice cracked and he started to sob.

“I can’t lose you two!” he cried. “Even if you can’t hear me, even if we get separated, I’m never going to lose you!” He went underwater briefly, and when he resurfaced, he emphasized it further: “I won’t let you die!”

“ _Believe in them_.”

He blinked the tears and drops of water from his eyes, fighting the waves. Whose voice was that? Was that…?

“ _Believe in your friends, Van_.”

“Mother?” He looked all around himself to try and see her. It was definitely her voice, Mother’s voice.

“ _Find your wings, Van. Find your wings and then you can find your friends. And know that you are loved_.”

“Mother, wait!”

The brief warmth he had felt upon hearing her voice dissipated. She had come and gone, just like that. Or had he just imagined it? No. He hadn’t.

 _Find your wings. Find your wings and then you can find your friends_.

Of course. Now more than ever, he _had_ to fly. He had to fly so he could find Escaflowne and find Hitomi and Allen. He closed his eyes and let his wings erupt from his back, then fought the waves and wind to rise into the sky, shooting up like a star. _Find your friends. Find your friends!_ his internal voice cheered him on as he flew against the heavy, wild winds.

After a short flight, but the most difficult one of his life, he spotted Escaflowne getting tossed around in the ocean. He dove to it and got on its back, and, knowing how foolish it would be to try and fly, he transformed it back to its bipedal form and swam against the waves, keeping the visor open so he could see better. Again he started calling their names, until he caught a glimpse of gold, and heard a scream: “VAN!”

“ _Allen_!” he screamed back, relieved to hear his voice, feeling a weight drop from his shoulders as he extended his hand to scoop Allen up. Just as he did, the winds began to ease up, and the rain slowed. Allen was clutching a lifeless body to his chest, his elbows underneath its armpits. When he let go, Hitomi fell on her back on Escaflowne’s hand.

Van’s heart plunged into his stomach. “ _Hitomi_!”

He brought Escaflowne’s hand toward the cockpit so he could see them better. Allen turned her on her side and pounded on her back. Water dripped from her mouth, but she remained lifeless, pale. He placed two fingers at the base of her neck. Then he held his hand in front of her mouth. His eyes widened.

“What should I do?!” he cried, looking over at Van and back at Hitomi. “She has a pulse, but she’s not breathing!”

Van thought back to when Hitomi had almost died in the prison in Freid. “Put your hands like this”—he held them out in the shape that Millerna had showed him—“and press on her heart really hard with the heel of your hand, and do it in time with your heartbeat!”

“Like that?!”

“Yeah, that’s good!”

Allen kept pushing on Hitomi’s heart at a steady, even pace. His wet hair was stuck to his neck, hanging down and dripping on Hitomi’s face and on Escaflowne’s hand. The rain had stopped now, and Van could hear Allen grunting with the exertion, his face starting to redden, and—sniffling. Sniffling as he tried, and failed, not to cry. Seeing Allen brought to tears made him cry even harder.

Hitomi just couldn’t die. Not when they’d come this far. They couldn’t lose her. He refused to let her die. He couldn’t imagine never seeing her smile or hearing her voice again. If she died here, she’d never make it back to Palas with them. If she died here, she’d never make it back to the Mystic Moon, either.

He had promised to get her back there, and he was going to follow through on that promise, no matter what it took.

“Come on, Hitomi, wake up!” he sobbed. “Merle wouldn’t want you to give up!”

“Millerna would never recover if she lost you forever.” Allen’s voice was ugly and vulnerable with tears.

Then a weak cough. And another one.

“Hitomi?” Allen’s eyes lit up.

“Allen…?”

“Hitomi!” Van’s heart leapt in his throat. “You’re alive!”

“Van… Allen…” She sat up, continuing to cough up water. Allen rubbed her back, wiping his eyes with the side of his hand. “I never stopped hoping for you two to come find me. Now we’re back together. All together…”

Her voice faded and she closed her eyes, falling back, Allen catching her head in his hands.

“Is she still okay?”

Allen placed two fingers at the base of her neck. “She’s fine now.”

Van breathed out, his shoulders finally relaxing. “Thank goodness.”

—

The winds were calm now, making for a smooth flight. If only Hitomi hadn’t passed out from fatigue, because all Van could see around them was the open blue sea. Allen was just as tired, but he kept his eyes open so that Hitomi didn’t fall, holding onto her with his life. Van wasn’t jealous. He understood. Hitomi would wake up, in time.

“I was afraid I wouldn’t find you guys,” he told Allen, after shifting his course to the west, hoping that would take him toward Asturia. “I thought I had lost you forever. Then I heard a voice telling me to fly, and I understood. In that moment I understood, and I found Escaflowne and then I found you two.”

“Hitomi kept wishing, like she said. I was looking for you and Escaflowne, and she was holding on to her pendant the whole time. She kept wishing. ‘Please, bring Van and Escaflowne back to us.’ And then you found us. I’m so relieved.”

“Now I’m worried about getting back to Palas. But that’s the least of my worries.” As long as Hitomi and Allen were alive, and they were all safe from Zaibach, it would be fine. He knew it would be, because he had them.

He had them.

 _And know that you are loved_ , Mother had said.

 _You are loved_ , he repeated over and over in his mind as he looked out over the wide ocean. _You are loved. You are loved._ The words sounded beautiful. They made his heart feel like it did when he was flying. He lifted his head with a confident smile as he proceeded toward the west, the sun just beginning to break over the ocean. A new day.

—

_Epilogue_

“I can still hardly believe it!” Gaddes threw up his hands, turning back around to face Hitomi, Van, and Allen where they sat on the benches of one of the rooms of the _Crusade_ , wrapped in thick, warm blankets, Merle clinging to Van’s shoulder. “How we just happened to bump into you. What took you so long? It’s been almost two weeks!”

Allen crossed his legs at the knee and leaned back with a smirk. “We got into some trouble along the way.”

He began an abbreviated account of their journey to Gaddes, Millerna, Dryden, and the rest. Van and Hitomi laughed and smiled along, jumping in to add their own takes now and then, sipping the arbuz wine, all heady sweetness and dizzying warmth. Hitomi’s face was already flushed, and she’d only had half of her glass. As he listened to Allen’s narration, Van flipped through _The Fanelian Rogue and the Asturian Knight_ , which he’d let out to dry a few hours ago after they’d gotten settled. He was still drying his journal out—the ink had smeared, so he would have to rewrite his memories.

He stopped on the last few pages. This had always been his favorite part, and he had reread it time and time again.

_The Fanelian sheathed his sword. He looked across the grassy field at the Asturian. The Asturian had a wary expression on his face. His blue eyes were very menacing. The Fanelian didn’t want the Asturian to be afraid of him, so he smiled at him._

_“Why are you smiling?” the Asturian asked. He gripped the hilt of his sword._

_“I smile because I want to be your friend,” the Fanelian replied. “I do not wish to fight you any longer. There are more things on which we agree than which we disagree. I may be of lower station than you. However, I have felt the same loneliness that I see in your eyes.”_

_The Asturian was very offended. “Do you truly believe that you can understand my pain? Even if you are also an orphan, how could you possibly understand? You are just a rogue, and I am a nobleman. We are different.”_

_The Fanelian continued to smile. “I understand perfectly well. Even if you do not think I do, I do. My entire life I have been a lonely man. And so have you. We fight because we understand each other too well. We fight because we want to kill that which we hate about ourselves. And I do not think we should fight, if only because we could kill our loneliness by learning to put our trust in each other.”_

Van turned the page to the illustration of the Fanelian and the Asturian shaking hands. He could keep reading, read that ending he knew almost by heart (even if the words were slightly different than the edition he’d grown up with). Or he could return to the hangar where his journal was drying, pick up his pen, and continue the story right at that point, at the point when he had learned to trust others, learned that he was loved.


End file.
